I got info from the girl children about Stanley’s girlfriend. Apparently they spent time with her twice when I was out of town. I oh so casually asked about her, using her first name so the kids would know that I knew about her and make them feel more comfortable.
“How was Sarah?”
Jumping Bean: “Oh fine.”
Merlot: “She was nice.”
Me: “Good! Is that all I get? That she was nice and fine?”
Jumping Bean: “Actually, she was likeable. She was perfectly likeable.” And bobbed her head.
Merlot: “Yes, it was just that..”
JB: “Merlot, shut up.”
Merlot: whispers “What am I not supposed to say?”
JB: “Merlot may I see you in the bathroom? In private?”
Me: “Really it is okay girls, I was just asking, we want Daddy to be happy.”
They go into the bathroom
and come back in a few minutes looking at
the ceiling and turning on Disney Channel
So, I drop it. Later, while driving to the store, I oh so casually ask Merlot who was alone with me in the car, “What was that about? Are y’all okay with Sarah?”
Merlot says, “Yes, but JB had to remind me that when it comes down to these situations, you don’t want to like the person. Like she said she didn’t want to like Al at first and now she doesn’t want to like Sarah. But now we have learned that Al is really sweet and probably Sarah is too.”
Me: “I’m sure she is nice or Daddy wouldn’t like her and wouldn’t let her be around you all. None of you should feel guilty if you like Al or Sarah, I want you to like her and Daddy wants you to like Al. Who is your Mom?”
Merlot, “You are.”
Me: “Who is your dad?”
Me: “That’s right. No one can ever come between that and you don’t have to worry.”
Merlot, “Okay. I’ll tell the others”.
Me, “You don’t have to baby, I’ll tell the others.”
So, there you have it. They feel guilty for liking new boyfriends and girlfriends. I’m glad it came out and I had my talk with JB and The Boy later that evening and reinforced that I want them to like whoever Stanley chooses. But I did throw in the, “especially if she is perfectly likeable” caveat. I don’t want them to feel disloyal to me when they are with her. I don’t want Stanley.
I just hope she didn’t freak out with how messy this place
was when she came over for dinner on NYE.
Dating is so much harder when you have kids and
it is quite hard enough already.
I guess “likeable’ is good!