Look Out Men! Bitches be Cray Cray

I talk an awful lot on here about how awful Stanley is. But heck, it is my blog.  Regardless,  I feel the need to make a disclaimer for my male readers and yes I do have a few.

I absolutely never want to sound as though I think all men are lazy or stupid like Stanley.

Stanley has the market cornered on both of those attributes but there is always 2 sides to every story, even mine.  I’m sure that there are many negative things I brought to our marriage.

Although, I honestly can’t think of any.

(Kidding!)

I’m kidding, kidding, kidding.

But seriously, some bitches be crazy.

And all of you know it is true!

Here are some examples just among my married friends. Yes, I said these women are my friends.  If any of y’all get offended by these things then go be mad at yo own self, this was not my bad behavior.

• I have a friend that will make her husband drive 10 miles out of the way, in the opposite direction, to get her a diet coke at Sonic.  Because she likes the ice better.  
• I have several friends that have their husbands so well trained that they can merely shake their glasses, causing their ice to clink, and their husbands are up and refilling their drink.
• I have a friend, who wanted a particular dog she found online;  her husband drove 7 hours each way and got her the dog,  2 days later she decided the puppy was too much trouble and he drove 7 hours each way to take the dog back, then the next day she decided she missed the dog and he chartered a plane to go back the seven hours to pick the dog back up.  
• I have a friend who doesn’t like to go to the grocery store.  (WHO DOES?) So, her husband goes.  Every single time.  And he has a full-time + job and she does not work and her kids are all in school.

These women all have really nice husbands that try to please them.  Plus, all of these men would go to hell and back to avoid their wives having a hissy fit.  Because their hissy fits are bad.  Baaaad.Not pitiful like mine.

more like this

Mean and shit.

For shame, women.  For shame.

I do believe that people most people will  finally reach their limit and will leave your mean ass.  So you had better shape up because divorce is sad and I didn’t even lose one like that!  You are going to do some major grieving when you realize there isn’t another one out there as sweet as the one that left your mean self-absorbed hiney. They won’t care where you get your ice.

But don’t cry.

Stanley is available!