My other guest posters are proving shy, so once again I prevailed on Al to help me out. I forbade him to write anything about me but since I know little about how men feel about sex I was excited to get his thoughts in writing. My comments are in italics.
Male Sex Myths: Or what every woman should know
about what goes on in our stupid heads.
In reading the CMs latest set of hilarious & insightful posts this week it seemed to me that a little peek into the world of the male mind with regards to sex wouldn’t be a bad idea. On the whole I would have to say she has been pretty generous in her restraint because lets face it men can be pretty sloppy when it comes to communicating about sex.
Here are a few male sex myths:
MYTH :Men are primal beasts – True/False
The theory here is that men are only driven by their need to grab a woman, get down to business and get their rocks off. Anytime. Anywhere. The fact is that men, like women have an emotional component to sex. Being in the mood counts for us too! Men are used to being expressive physically because, let’s face it, we are encouraged to do so, but men also need to be in the mood. We need affection & play and are much happier that way. Of course there are plenty of straight up pigs out there. No getting around that. (No Shit. There is even a show about it, American Hoggers, where women catch hog like men and take ’em down. Oh, it is about real hogs??)
MYTH: Men talk about sex with other men: SO FALSE
By this I mean men would rather talk about their last prostate check than discuss their sex life with other men. Just does not happen. I think women are shocked by this fact. (YES!) Why doesn’t this happen? I suspect it comes down to the fact that men are not always very confident in their abilities in the bedroom. This insecurity probably contributes to the amount of bad sex going on out there at the hands of the ‘Speedy Gonzalezes’ of the world. The point here is that men do not share information about sex so don’t assume that your man has some vast wealth of collective male wisdom relating to women and sex. He probably learned more about sex from watching Three’s Company than he did from other men. I loved me some Jack Tripper.
MYTH: Men want a woman to be physically perfect to find her sexy: WAY FALSE
Sexy is between the ears ladies. If you feel sexy, and act sexy, you will BE sexy to men. I don’t think it’s a stretch to say both women & men have no problem with a good piece of eye candy (I know he does because I have seen him check out a few), but the reality is that every single woman has the ability to turn a man on. (Thank God) You just have to exude that confidence & playfulness. Its there and believe me men notice. Find whatever it is that makes you feel sexy and it will show.
MYTH: Men are only interested in some Wild Sex Circus: False (sort of)
Look, Penthouse Forum aside (and I’m convinced there is a group of spinsters in a room somewhere cranking that smut out) most men are up for what you are up for. Taking charge is one thing, (YES, take charge!) but by and large the vast majority of men I know are much more interested in a conventional session of love making. Leave the trapeze and the gymnastics to the acrobats! (Man I was looking forward to that.)
MYTH: Men want to fuck everything with boobs and breathes. True/False
Hmmm. Now it IS true that most men contemplate sex on a near constant basis. I know that when men are younger it is impossible for them not to. It’s all that testosterone. As we get older though not so much. (That is just a crying shame). I mean lets be real, men don’t actually think they are going to get all the sex they are contemplating. And they certainly are much too insecure to pursue it actively. Oh there are a few pathetic desperados who chase everything. They subscribe to the “ even a blind squirrel finds a nut” theory (hey CM- look a squirrel!). They are the exception for sure.
Men deservedly have earned the rap of being lazy, and selfish in bed. And frankly most do very little to dispel this notion. The “ I got mine, you get yours” attitude is far to prevalent. Still it’s not always as simple as saying “ he’s like that because he’s a MAN”. (IT’S NOT?) The older you get the less fulfilling that is for men too. Ultimately it comes down to real factors like, communication, affection, trust and confidence on both sides for any meaningful & satisfying sex life.
(Bad) Love is All Around
Let’s just face it. There is a lot of bad sex going on out there now And it isn’t always the man that’s at fault. For every thirty second wonder who’s partner was reaching for her pocket rocket while he snoozed next to her, (Hey! I just needed to touch up my lipstick!) there is a man left dissatisfied with his partner who undressed with the lights out and lay there silent during love making.
I’ve been that man. (NEVER!)
I hate to say it but I have even faked it! AND I got away with it! Really that is pathetic.
You have to be really bad to have your man fake an orgasm & not even know it. (I just said that like yesterday! I still don’t know how you don’t notice the lack of wet spot.)
We have ALL been there. If we are lucky (and I have been finally) we find that one person who is our soul mate in every single way including sexually. (I don’t know if I believe that whole one person thing, but Al does, he’s a total romantic).
To Al, thanks for writing this for me and saving me from giving even more of my personal business away. I needed saving from myself!