Pity..

Sorry my blog posts have been sporadic.  I have had a whole lot going on and have had to spend some time in this position…

Which is always better than THIS position…

Well, nevermind.  I don’t know.  With the right person…

On Saturday The Boy had his last baseball game.  I was sitting in a folding chair fanning my swamp ass and Stanley had arrived and was way far down yonder in his chair.  The group of moms that I have spent the entire season with heard me say something about ‘my weekend’ to a friend.  They were shocked to hear I was divorced.  They hadn’t put it together and I guess I haven’t advertised and Stanley was always there although usually no where near my person.  Some of these moms I also know from school and the PTA.  

There!  I saw it!  Did you catch it? 

 PITY

 with a little shock and then a dash of concern thrown in.

And so since I had their attention, I told them the whole story.  

And don’t pity me bitches, I’m fine.  

Mostly.  I’m mostly all fine.  Just about.

And yes, it could happen to you.  

And some of ya’ll aren’t nice to your husbands, like Stanley wasn’t nice to me.  And look what happened.  I left his monkey ass.  I said NO to the monkey.  Yes, it could happen to you.  

digression:  Someone it SHOULD IMO happen too is a friend who sent her husband a text at 8:30 p.m. when he was at a business meeting and told him that if he was in after 9 to please sleep upstairs in the guest room because she did not want him to wake her up.  She doesn’t work y’all.  And it was friggin 8:30 pm.  NOT 2 A.M or even midnight which I would certainly understand.  If I was him I would have suggested she sleep in the guest room since he bought the bed!

I have been really surprised by the reactions of some of my friends.  Some were perfect and supportive and some were weird acting and made me feel like a second class citizen.  Even though they weren’t friends of Stanley’s really.  He would be hard pressed to come up with their names.  At this point, several have processed their reaction enough to apologize to me (the ones that have done this have been previously divorced btw) and explain how my news impacted them.  They said that when a friend shares the news of an impending divorce that you  examine your own relationship and maybe sometimes that scares the pee water out of you.  

Apparently it scares you so much that you pull back a little bit and leave your friend that needs support feeling like they have a terminal case of cooties.

I hope to God that I have never done that to someone. 

Then there is always the possibility that some others are just so innately selfish that they have to run every new event through the filter of ‘how is this news going to impact my life’ and decide that it won’t have a direct negative impact before they can behave like a nice and supportive person again.

I have developed a really deep belief that most people just want to know how something is going to effect them.   And really for all of my concern of how people were going to react to my news, there were only tiny little ripples.  People stopped and threw the pity/concern/shock look and then moved right on with their life.

Little bitty tiny ripples. 

I’m mostly fine.