Screw it, Time to be Thankful

A very hilarious friend of mine is doing the 30 days of being thankful thing on FB.  She texted me yesterday and said she was getting to the bottom of the barrel.  She said she was about to be reduced to:

“Today I am thankful I am not someone’s prison bitch, being traded for cigs and extra servings of ‘shit on a single’ because I got caught killing someone in their sleep.”

or 

“Today I’m thankfor for the protection of my imaginary militia of ginger-headed jousting midgets riding rabid alpacas.”

and

“Today I’m thankful that you can’t get an STD from screwing with someone’s mind.”

more

“Today I’m thankful that turkey I’m stuffing in my mouth doesn’t care if I swallow.”

She is my hero.  Cheers to the women out there keepin it real.

I’m nervous about tomorrow.  For the first time, Al is going to meet my family again after 30 years when he joins us at my mom’s for Thanksgiving.  There will be my brothers and their families, who have already laid their heavy dose of judgement on me and

who still isn’t over losing the election.  I have been very concerned and have thought about backing out about 200 times so as not to subject my lovah to any uncomfortable chews while trying to swallow turkey.  But, if I don’t go it will be worse.  Because my children will miss out on spending the holiday with their cousins; because my brothers will feel bad that I stayed away because of something they said; because Archie will be in a huge amount of trouble with my mom who will blame him if I don’t go.  Now, do I really care about the feelings of people who have made me cry a lot in the last month?  Only a little.  The real reason I am going is because my mom will feel like she failed somewhere in making me feel accepted and supported.  So really, screw all of them, I’m going because it will hurt my mom if I pout and stay home.So on Thanksgiving Day, I will be pulling on my big girl pants and sending prayers that Archie doesn’t run my lovah off for good.I am trying this morning to consider all of the things I have to be thankful for this year and to celebrate all that I have and all the gains I’ve made in the last year.  Last Thanksgiving, my divorce was almost final.  I was worried to death about the children.  I was scared I would never have another man to hold my hand.  I felt so so alone.

My kids who are happy and thriving even.  Thanks be.  

I am so thankful for Stanley and his willingness to birdnest and co-parent.  Thanks be.

I am thankful that I have love in my life and someone that supports me so completely.

Thanks Be.

But really I’m thankful for the hands of all of my family and friends who have 

supported me this year in going through this.  Their hands have patted my back, 

handed me tissues and pulled me up when I was down.  Their hands have

 also typed comments to me offering support.

I am going to put it all down and be thankful tomorrow.  

Wishing all of you a happy Thanksgiving.