Signs of LIfe

Hello Readers, I’m still here.  It is 9:25 a.m. and I haven’t had one tearful episode yet so I am taking that as an upward turn.

Stanley and I talked yesterday, yes, mostly via technology, and at least the lines of communication are open.  I think the problem is that Stanley has NOT had an apartment, he has just been crashing with friends or staying in his room here when he comes in late, and he needs a place of his own.  So far, I think that we are going to try to find money in our nest budget to help with the cost of an apartment.  He doesn’t have family here and I do so it is easier for me to be out of the nest.

So at this point, we are going to continue bird nesting.

Stanley and I yesterday but with iphones

It has come to my attention that my blog is very one sided and I trash Stanley who has no method to defend himself. 

 I do.  I admit it.  

I’m immature and I vent about him on my blog.  I can say with full honesty that every word is true and he gives me awesome material to work with.  I mean, you can’t make some of this shit up.  I can also honestly say that I never trash him to my kids.  From my clinical work with kids I know the devestation that can come from parents polarizing their children.  Children have an innate need to love and receive love from their parents.  

Even when a parent sucks Wally.

Wally

I don’t think that Stanley is a bad dad.  I think he is selfish and that he doesn’t like to be inconvenienced.  Children are a huge inconvenience sometimes and that puts him over the edge.   He has knee jerk reactions with them and his behavior can be inconsistant.  But none of us are perfect, definitely me included, and we all grow up and most of us become contributing members of society.  I myself am too layed back with the kids.  I think because of my pediatric oncology work, I don’t like tension in the house and work to keep it calm so therefore, at times, I under react. I’m hoping it all comes out in the wash.

Stanley is not a good partner

He was not a good partner to me in marriage and now he is not a good partner in nesting.  But he is the only partner I have and I want to make it work for the kids who need their dad.   I think he could make a fine husband for someone else.  I require emotional engagement from my partner but I know some women who don’t.  I have friends who say they don’t.  That they are quiet in their house and want to do their own thing coming back together at dinner time for light conversation and then sex.  Stanley is perfect for that. 

I’m sorry the blog is one sided.  I can’t figure out how to fix that since I am just one person writing.  I can tell you though that Stanley’s blog would be like this.

Hey.

I like to brew beer.

(crickets)

and then drink it.

(crickets)

She wants me to clean up.

(crickets)

I don’t want to.

(crickets)

I’m sorry, that is the best I can do to give you Stanley’s side.  I do feel a huge sense of relief that he is agreeing to continue bird nesting for now.  I am willing to help him with the apartment just to keep the kids stable at this time.

I am having my surgery tomorrow at 9:30.  I’ll be back when I can.  Thanks to all of you for support.