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Stupid long distance relationships are so stupid.
But, hey, we do the best we can.
The best we could yesterday was our weekly Skype Date
to watch American Horror Story.
It was awesome.
The show and the date.
(Aside: Both of us are loving this season of AHS, it isn’t as scary, the dialogue is hilarious and the Trifecta of Jessica Lange, Angela Bassett and Kathy Bates is delicious. Oh, wait… people aren’t delicious, that’s pie, pie is delicious and so is Halloween candy, I’ve succumbed to a mini Kit Kat so far, one down…about a hundred to go. What was I talking about? OH! I am very scared of horror movies, I never ever watch them because then I get scared in the dark and don’t sleep. The first 2 seasons of AHS were scary. This one is more campy than scary and has been great fun to watch. I only cover my eyes when there is a snake on and there was a snake on last night, but nothing actually scary. I am very phobic of snakes. Just writing that word makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck. Ick. End of Aside. )
Al and I have this little ritual now when we watch a show together.
We talk during commercials, gushing all over our old selves,
professing the other’s beauty and hotness, make kissy faces at the camera
and then quickly mute the microphones when the show comes back on.
Sometimes I watch him watch TV but that is just because I think he’s cute.
I have no idea when we can see each other again because of kid schedules.
I’m on this weekend/He’s off.
He’s on next weekend/I’m off.
Rinse and repeat.
It’s hard to date after divorce because of kid schedules.
Of course, it would be hard with all these kids if we lived in the same town.
But living 915 miles apart and juggling kid schedules becomes insane.
Whatever, I hate it.
If we didn’t have a past together I never
would have been lured into this stupid long distance relationship.
But the distance has helped in a way.
We burn very hotly (Al’s words) and I suspect that if we lived in the same town
we would be engaged (if not married) already.
Since we are both members of the Divorce Zombie Apocalypse
the time that is passing is hopefully allowing us both to heal from our old wounds.
Also, the kids are getting the time to adjust to our divorces without having
to adjust to step family dynamics at the same time.
Plus an added bonus is the distance gives our sore parts time for the
skin to grow back before we are at it again.
Just trying to look on the bright side, here.
I’m sure if we ever live in the same town that the urgency
will disapate and that will be sad.
Al says,
“No, it will always be urgent,”
but he’s an optimist.
Then I say,
“You’re crazy because we’ve both been married and
we both know that the fun sex goes away.”
But I’m a pessimist.
Anyway. What was I talking about?
Oh! I hate this stupid long distance relationship
but I do see it is protecting us from ourselves in a way.
But, hell, I’m almost 50 years-old.
I don’t want to be protected from myself.
This Stupid Long Distance Relationship is a mean fucker.
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