Really. What a tremendous made up word.
I spent a few days with my lovah, then had a work meeting and got home yesterday noonish.
It is always hard to leave Al. That relationship is splendid and so good. However, it is always hard to leave a man that says things like, “I will love you until the day my heart stops beating.” Oh, and how about, “I have determined that if there are other lives, my soul was always looking for your soul” and “You are so beautiful that every time I look at you I burn inside.” (By the way, I’m certainly not, he just likes me). Just in case you are wondering, I have gone from the most unemotional man, one who did not give compliments ever and didn’t tell me I looked pretty on my wedding day, to the biggest sap on the planet. I’m doing my best to relax and accept the sentiment and compliments but it is a struggle for me. Like a lot of people, I guess deep in my soul I don’t deserve it. But he is soooo wonderful. For instance, I was getting ready to leave, dressing and packing and he says, “I’ve started the coffee and I’m making you a bagel. Oh, and here is your Zyrtec” as he hands me my pill and a small glass of water.
Don’t be a hater.
Man needs to do workshops.
Oh, and before I go back to what is so suckworthy, Stanley although really it goes without saying, his ex-wife is most assuredly eating her heart out. She called 4 times on Sunday morning, knowing I was there. He finally answered the phone and shouted at her that he was busy, and she sent him a text 2 min later, that said, “Apparently you are emotionally unavailable to me today.”
Ummm. No Bitch, he is emotionally unavailable to you everyday.
He is physically unavailable to you today.
Really, if someone walked out after 22 years, divorced me, and had regular shouting matches at me on the phone like that I would get the hint that they don’t like me.
Chick ain’t right.
I could take care of her pretty darn quick.
Anyway. Back to Stanley.
I picked up kids yesterday from school, and they looked like orphans. JB reported she hadn’t taken her ADHD meds for several days and also she looked like a Rastafarian she was so dirty. She admitted to not having had a shower since Sunday. It was Wednesday.
They were all tired and emotional. I feel like I failed them while I was up there free as a bird and playing Maintenance Man. Although I do leave for 2 nights at a time several times a week, I still see them and get them all organized and straight after school every day. I have to figure out how to handle this with Stanley. I know he tries, but it isn’t hard enough. You can’t tell a 10 year old with ADHD to go take a shower and not check to see if she did. The meds are URGENT. If you realize you forgot to give it you turn around and take it to her at school.
Sometimes I just wish I could have them by myself.
I know, I know. They need him too.
I am so frustrated.
I don’t want anything to be at the expense of my kids.
**Edited to share a text I just received from The Biggest Sap on the Planet:
“You are doing great. I know it’s hard. But I am standing right with you. You are never alone.”
Sigh. I am not making this shit up.