Home again, home again, jiggity jig.
My week with Al was very nearly perfect. I hadn’t seen him for a month and the past 2 visits before that were weekends I had kids so we had very little private time. We were due for some body/soul immersion and boy did we take advantage of it. I got in late on Thursday night and seriously on Friday we stayed in bed until after noon, got up and ate lunch and went back to bed until 4. Then we got up again, showered (always together), went out for dinner, went back home and went back to bed. It is a shock either of us were able to walk on Saturday.
Don’t be a hater.
Honestly, the difference between my relationship with him and my relationship with any other male prior to this is the level of intimacy. I don’t know how we achieved this level of intimacy but consider it to be one of these reasons:
- It is because we knew each other years and years and years ago and we built on a previously normal level of intimacy.
- It is because he is so emotionally available to me and I have absolute trust in him (also because of our history).
- It is because soulmates are real.
Of course, Mr. Romance believes it to be #3.
He told his mother last week that he was too happy to sleep.
Awwww. How sweet is that?
We canoodle in public. We kissed in baggage claim and while waiting for the rental car shuttle. When we got on the shuttle the driver (a woman) told us we had warmed her cold heart. We kissed in the hallway of his boss’ house at her annual Christmas party. People smiled and teased us. He kissed me tenderly goodbye at airport security Thursday morning. When I was taking off my shoes and piling my crap in bins a woman said, “I couldn’t help but notice how sweetly he kissed you goodbye. It is so nice to see love like that.” She asked, “When will you see him again?” I gulped, “8 days.”
Pathetic. I can’t even help myself and I don’t want to!
This is how we discovered we are having tantric sex. My friend, the sex therapist, gave me a handful of lube samples once. I put them in my bag. After all of those hours in bed, I pulled out one. It burned. I think it was supposed to be warming, but I was hotter than warm tbh. Afterward I googled that sample to see if that was supposed to be a warming sensation or if I was having a reaction to it, because it was just a tiny sample, there was no info on the package. The product information contained a link to different types of female orgasms which included one called a ‘relaxation orgasm’. I HAVE THOSE. That section contained a link to Tantric Sexuality and Energy and well, there you go!
By the way, I think that lube plain ole burned. But it went away fast.
The only thing I had ever heard about Tantric Sex was the comment Sting made about 20 years ago, that he and his wife have sex for like 36 hours.
He revised his comment to say that “it is hard to explain but my wife is my church.”
I thought that it meant you have sex a long time. Well, that isn’t it. It is about the energy and feelings of euphoria you feel long before and after orgasm. It is much more mental than physical and the physical is just a byproduct of the mental. Regular western lovemaking has a distinct beginning (foreplay), middle (intercourse) and end (orgasm) that rarely lasts more than 20 minutes. This sort of lovemaking has no distinct beginning, middle and end. It is prolonged eye contact, breathing each other’s breath you are so close, and a constant love making, through touch and a spiritual connection even when you are walking in the grocery store. It is hard to understand, but we do that.
One translation of the word tantra is “tools for expansion.”
It is so hard to explain, I’m not even into yoga, so this is way out of my realm of expertise. But I know it when I feel it and relaxation orgasms don’t happen in any way that I’ve ever made love before.
Links for info if you are curious:
http://sexuality.about.com/od/spiritualsex/a/tantra101.htm
http://www.templeoftantra.com/tantricsex.html
I will say I am a member at the First Church of Al.
Hallelujah!
Oh man! You go, girl! There’s nothing more empowering than terrific sex, and that sounds like terrific sex. Relaxation orgasms? Oh my! What a fabulous connection you and Al enjoy, and a well deserved one. It’s amazing what we can be prepared to put up with in our inadequate relationships and we often don’t realise what we were missing out on until given the opportunity to experience something SO much better.
I am a keen recorder of time in my life (there’s an app for that), and I am both amazed and delighted that I had sex for an astonishing 127 hours and 23 minutes last year (no, it’s not my job, and I don’t live with my over either). I don’t think I would have managed that amount of time in the preceding five years when I was married. And it’s not just the time, of course, it’s the connection, as you say.
May 2015 be the year of walking with bendy legs, for all the right reasons!
Sim! 127 hrs? Whoop!!