The Agony of Da'Feet

I have feet on my mind this morning.

Mostly because mine look awful and

I have to work a pedicure into my schedule

(as well as my budget) today.

Because my lovah is coming and I can’t subject him to bad feet!

My feet got a workout this morning at 6:30 am!

JB was stuffing her backpack when The Boy yelled that the carpool was here. I yelled at her to hurry, handed her ADHD pill and water to gulp and she took off down the driveway to the waiting van, running like a bat out of hell.

Then bonked her head on the top of the van.

She burst into tears and I could see her crying in the van. My friend got out and was checking on her but there was nothing left for me to do but run down the gravel driveway in bare feet and night gown, braless, boobs flopping in the wind, saying, “OUCH, OH SHIT, OUCH!” to give her a hug. She quit crying and off they went to school and I went back up the driveway praying the neighbors were still asleep and missed that display. That driveway is not meant for bare feet.

Then my mother told me a foot story.

She said she and my dad were sitting at an outside concert last week and she had on her sandals. The man sitting beside her said,

“Excuse me, but I just have to tell you, you have beautiful feet.”

EWWWWWW.

She said for the rest of the evening she was freaked out.

That is just not a normal compliment.

Foot fetish city.