Last week was Fall Break for the kids and they got Thursday and Friday off. It was Stanley’s weekend but had asked me to cover on Saturday, 10/13, because of some beer event. I agreed a month ago even though it messed my schedule up with my lovah badly. So, since I had the kids off during the days anyway, then for most of the weekend, I asked him if I could take them away for a long weekend. He agreed.
The kids and I loaded up the sedan and headed to a tranquil lake spot.
Now. Technically, per the schedule, he was on until 5 yesterday, but the reality was I had been on since Wednesday after school. It really didn’t even occur to me that doofus wouldn’t have the kids last night. I just assumed he would want them. Because if I hadn’t had them since Tuesday and had missed my weekend, a team of horses couldn’t have kept me from them. But alas, no. Driving back yesterday I get a text that he has me down as on until Wednesday night.
Minus the 2009 date at the top, our schedule looks very like this.
(We have virtually 50-50 custody. Although I pick the kids up from school every day and had them primarily during the day through the summer. So, that way, I see the kids every single day except for every other Saturday; this was by design because I can’t cope without them. I cry and pout and plot if I should beg him to take me back).
Now, look at the second week where it begins pink on Wed; now insert pink in your head through the weekend, that I switched so he could go to a beer monkey pageant, and continue the pink through Wednesday.
Beer Monkey Pageant
This happens a lot. Really, I am not complaining because unless I am with Al, I am miserable when I am off from the kids, I just don’t get him. His stupid inability to think outside the box makes me crazy.
He says, “well, it is what is on the schedule.”
OH MY GOD.
(Banging my head…….. )
well, dude you just fucked with the schedule.
When I realize how limited he is in thinking outside the box, I realize that I must have really pulled him through the 14 years of our marriage. Because, folks, life is all outside the box. Things happen on the spur of the moment, on the fly, things change, every single minute and, looking back, I must have juggled it all and assigned him a task if it was absolutely necessary and I had no other recourse.
He needs to go into this box, people!
SO, then, I have a moment of gratitude that he is so lame and I can have another few nights with the kids, but I think, well, they need to see him, even though he is a dumbshit, and I text him and ask if he wants to meet us for dinner so he can see the children. I’m thinking, nice family of origin meal for them and they can have an hour with him. So then we text:
Hey, since you haven’t seen the kids,
why don’t you meet us for dinner early?
Maybe. Why don’t you let me know when
you decide where you guys want to go and I’ll decide.
No. I meant, we could meet for you to see them.
Otherwise, I am not taking them out for dinner.
But you haven’t seen them for a while and
it might be nice for you and for them.
Oh! I have missed them. Ok!
Let me know what time.
We met, I kept the brick in my purse as hard as that was, and the kids got to see their father for an hour out of a week. I made it happen. I remember when we were married and I felt sometimes like I had to tell him everything, including:
Breathe out…
Breathe in…
It made me think that maybe I was way too controlling since it appeared I had to tell him everything. But guess what??
I see now I did have to tell him everything!
How did he get to be 45 years old and be this stupid???
OH MY HOLY
!It goes to show that people don’t change. I found him working in a lab and living in a little apartment, smoking and obsessed with beer.Add me and life was rosey!
Beautiful homes
Beautiful family
Take me away and he is working in a lab and living in a little apartment, smoking and obsessed with beer.
Pathetic…I need to be glad he is no longer my problem. And I am except that I have to deal with his dumbshit for the next 10 years.
Bless my own heart.
If anybody thinks I am being mean they can come and form their own opinion.He’s available!
talk about your concrete thinkers! kudos to you for having the patience to break it down, that text message exchange really tells the story.
Who would believe it otherwise…… OMG. I swear and he is brilliant. He is just too lazy to think.
Oh my gosh I’m just glad I don’t live near Stanley because there is no danger of me accidentally dating him! He and Bryan have both reverted, though. Bryan is now eating fast food daily and living in a little apartment the way he was when I met him. Bryan sees Katherine every Wednesday for two hours and alternate weekends, which means he often goes a week without interacting with his daughter. We got her a cell phone so they can talk any time, but he calls her about once a week or two. (Ironically, she’s with me all the time and I send her little “Have a great gymnastics class!” and “How was your math test?” messages and call her to say “How was school?”…..and I see her every day.) He is also available.
I’ll hold out for a guy a lot more like Al than Stanley, thankyouverymuch. 🙂
So irritating. He does have a girlfriend and I’m sure she thinks he is perfect. My kids are like, “you are still on?” But to be honest they are delighted. I can see their spirits fall when they realize he is on. Oh well. I adore them and these men are missing out.