The Ebb and Flow of My Stupid Long Distance Relationship

Have I said I hate long distance relationships?

Have I said they are stupid?

Just look at this drivel…..

That above is stupid. Yes it does! Love has a distance!

Sometimes I think I am a big dumb stupid head for getting into one at this age.

I know better. I really do.

More inspiration

Or the people! The people might disappear!

and even more

That does not make it perfect! Being able to hug you makes it perfect!

Who is writing this stuff anyway?

A fucking happy unicorn smurf?

Whoever writes that nonsense must not be in a long distance relationship.

That’s for damn sure.

I know, I know. I have no options. I can either be in a long distance relationship and have wonderfulness when we can make it happen or not be in it and miss Al everyday not just most days. We had a hard weekend. I didn’t feel great and had kids and he had kid stress at his place. I couldn’t help because of the distance and got all down and insecure and crazy and acted quite immature and pouted. To be honest he pouted on Friday night.

When we got the point that we could process it without pouting it was Monday night. We talked throughout that pouting time but there was some tension.

Fuck tension.

I just got divorced. I’m not interested in tension.

I’m interested in fun.

And sex.

And friendship.

And laughter.

All the things that were not in my marriage.

I say things like maybe we should just give it up.

Because I’m a baby and I know he knows I don’t mean it.

(That would be when I am having a distance hissy fit)

Al says he never conceives of ‘quitting’ this relationship because even with the distance, it is the most supportive, healthy, loving relationship he has ever had. Then, I say things like, “Oh… Me too.” Because I’m lame. He said that he loves our relationship, except for the 915 miles of course, but he does notice that with the distance there is an ebb and flow to it. When we are together it is intense and very nearly perfect. Then, comes the distance and space and the tide goes out a bit. Our frustration builds waiting for the tide to come in again which it finally does, thank God. But then of course it goes right back out again.