The Maintenance Man

I am realizing that this is in danger of turning in to a sex blog and I swear that I will go back to birdnesting soonish.  But I have to report something that happened yesterday. 

Imagine if you will that I am in my lovah’s apartment while he has gone to work. 

(He was looking yummy I might add.  I rarely see him dressed for work as this long distance relationship does not include such day to day mundane things like work.)

I was blogging while using his laptop in my undies.

don’t I wish I looked this good!

I had showered, put on my makeup, my bra and panties and was deep in thought about Shameless and black stockings.  Yes, in this particular state of undress.  It was only about 11 a.m. when I started but I was very deep in thought and really, time slips away.   Al had informed me that he would be back about noon and I planned to finish getting ready as soon as I hit publish. 

WELL……

KNOCK KNOCK, “Maintenance Man!”

I look down at the clock on his laptop: 12:06!

I jump up, sashay over and say through the door,

“Oh, are we going to play Maintenance Man?”

(we never have done such a thing by the way)

 Then I jerk open the door in my underwear,

And there stands and old, tall, MAINTENANCE MAN…

Ermagerd.

“SHIT!”

and slam the door.

 I die for 2 seconds and then say through the door,

“Sorry, I thought you were someone pretending to be a maintenance man!”

Because, really, I was flustered and what else could I say?

 I hear through the door, 

“Ma’am, I’m really the maintenance man and I’m here to change your air filter.”

I took off at full speed down the hall and got my sweater and pants pulling them on as I ran.

SPLAT!

I fell flat on my face trying to put my foot in the same pant leg that was occuppied by my other leg.

I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.

Then I started laughing.  Because what else could I do?

I open the door and he is smiling at me like he just saw me in my underwear.

(and knows that I’m naughty)

I say, “I was just working and my boyfriend is on his way.”

by way of explanation.  

Then I sit at the laptop where he can see pictures of Pamela Madsen in stockings with her legs up in the air.

Yeah, sure you were.

I notice on my phone the time is 11:37.  

 Dude’s clock on his laptop now says 12:10.  

 It isn’t even time for him yet.  

OY.

I sit staring straight at the keyboard and finally he walks by me, chuckles and says,

“Well, you have a good day now.”

Sure.  Sure I will.

My momma really didn’t raise me this way…

Oh well.