I’ve been missing in action and trying to make it here.
Just some updates. I did trade my vehicle, all by myself, well with the help of a friend’s husband, and I got a great deal. I sent a ‘screw you’ email to the place that tried to rape me telling them that I did not appreciate their ‘bend over and grab your ankles’ approach to selling a car.
I have a new car ‘husband’ named Kenny who did a great job and didn’t pressure me at all.
I love Kenny.
I will give him all 5’s on my survey call.
I went to work yesterday and walked in to a facility to find out that one of my favorite patients died a few days ago.
I HATE that.
I hate to walk in somewhere and spend the next few hours fighting tears and wanting my bed . I know you aren’t supposed to have favorites, but everyone does. Some people just touch you in a different way or embody traits that you admire. This was a beautiful older man with the most beautiful smile and sweet nature. He was a gentle person.
After 48 years on earth, gentle is one of my favorite characteristics.
It was unexpected. Last week he looked great and I teased him that he must be having to fight the women off. I know, circle of life and all.
I’m off this weekend and I miss my kids.
I have received 42 texts from Jumping Bean already.
She has an app that lets her text to my phone from her ipod. I know what they had for dinner and that daddy is mad because he thinks they broke the printer. She has no knowledge of it of course. Apparently now he is out taking a walk to cool off. Alone.
I love communicating with her but it also makes me feel bad that I’m not there.
Al has his kids this weekend so we are out of sync with kids and it will be a few weeks
before we can get back on schedule.
We had a bad day yesterday.
He was mad at his kid and I said the wrong thing. I didn’t mean it the way he read it. Not everything that our kids do is pretty and shiny but it is hard to hear criticism of your child. I don’t like it either.
And we have 6 kids, 3 dogs and 2 exes and 915 miles between us.
That is a whole lot of room for fuck ups.
They are going to mess up sometimes. We will be lucky to produce 6 college graduates that don’t have any bumps along the way.
The distance makes it harder. I didn’t have the opportunity to hug him, saying nothing, but providing support. Instead I had to write something and it didn’t come out right. Then he responded to me badly and he couldn’t hug me either to make it better.
And I pull away when stung.
Then I start thinking how grateful I am that we aren’t married and are still ‘trying’ this relationship on for size. Both of us are recently divorced and both of us have pain from our previous relationship. Luckily we rarely have communication issues. Otherwise, the distance would have us in the relationship graveyard by now.
I don’t ever, ever, ever want to have to go through divorce again. Certainly he doesn’t either.
We have many strengths, but dating is good.
I do hope to give him a hug, saying nothing, soon though.
Hoping I don’t have to take my
out and swing it at Stanley.
Hoping he finds his coping skills (whatever that is) and walks back home!