I’m going to start this post by saying I’ve been in the wine bottle.
So, forgive me if I make no sense.
I have had waaaaay too much Stanley immersion the past 2 weeks.
Plus, generally I’m pissed at him. Which reminds me of why we are divorced.
Settle back and listen to the story. First, there was the silent auction and the head bonk. Well, it wasn’t hard enough to knock any sense into the man, unfortunately. So, after the auction, I had some more Al time, which is gooood time. He is romantic and sexy but better than both of those things to a single working mom, he is helpful. He is helpful. Stanley is unhelpful. Plus stupid.
So, Al left on Monday last week. On Tuesday, Jumping Bean had an 8 am Beta Club nduction ceremony at school. All good. I was on nest duty and got to the school, Stanley slid into the seat next to me, and we co-parented our asses off. Then on that same day, we had to go to her choir performance in the same auditorium at 6:30 p.m. At some point during the day, I, myself an over functioner for low functioning people, got the bright idea to encourage Stanley to invite his live in girlfriend to the performance since she seems to be avoiding social situations where I am in attendance. And since the head bonk, well, she may as well join the party. So, like a big dumbhead, I sent Stanley a text in the afternoon and said that he should invite her for the performance, I said, “we don’t have to sit together, just let her know that she is welcome to come if you want her to come.”
Why did I do this?
I have no idea. I was over functioning. I can’t help it. I pity low functioning people so much, I think they should have commercials for them like the ones for the neglected dogs and cats and Sarah McLachlan should sing, “In the arms of the angel… fly away with me.”
Anyway… So, he ends up bringing her. I sat waaaay on the other side of the auditorium alone so he could come in and find a seat with her without my big ass sitting front and center. See? Overfunctioning for Stanley. So, after the performance, I find Jumping Bean (who did a fab job) and she was with them and I walked up slowly, ever so slowly, and said hello. The girlfriend said hello and that she was hot. Srsly, it was hot in there.
So, within 2 days, we had the auction with exes + new partners and then kid event, exes + new partners. That was a lot.
Then, we had kid event on Thursday, and kid event on Friday at school.
me and Stanley, me and Stanley.
Then, I was on for the weekend. We told Merlot that we were going to repaint and decorate her room for her birthday, January 22. It was still not done. So, she said to me last week,
“Mom, Dad is never going to get around to it, can you paint my room?”
(mouths of babes, people, mouths of babes)
So, of course, I said yes. So, we got the paint and on Friday night, she and I taped and prepped the walls and got it all ready. Saturday morning she got me up bright and early and we started painting. It was beautiful if I do say so myself. On Sunday I was sore. From climbing the ladder and painting trim over my head, etc. We cleaned up the room, pushed the furniture back into place, hung pictures, and I drug my tired sore ass to the store for new bedding. While I was out, I sent Stanley a text and asked if he wanted me to pick him up something for dinner, as he was due to exchange kids at 5.
He missed his chance because he didn’t respond for an hour, see, he was having a nap. HMMPH. Okay, well, too late, I left the store, he should be well rested anyway. So, we exchange in the nest and I head out, looking forward to a hot bath for my tired muscles and then bed, but feeling really proud of Merlot’s room and that I managed it without a man. I did it myself and it was fucking beautiful. I was exhausted and felt like hammered shit.
But nope. No rest for me.
I recieved texts all night from kids that Daddy was yelling and had grounded them all for a week with no electronics, etc. He hadn’t been with them, he was rested, and still he couldn’t manage basic parenting. I had done all the laundry, there was groceries… Still he couldn’t manage. Per every single child, he had yelled and shrieked and thrown general tantrums when anything went wrong.
It has continued all week.
He’s been with the kids 3 nights now and every day they have told me tales of his shrieking. It looks like he is building some beer thing in the garage, so I guess he has been irritated when they have needed something, like, I don’t know, dinner.
I’m just venting. He has few coping skills and he yells instead of problem solving.
I get it. Yet still..
He is an ADULT. Adults should be able to cope better with kids than this.
Then tonight he came in to do kids, and he made the snide comment,
“Yes, I told Merlot her job was to walk behind Mommy and wipe the paint off the floor.”
For reals. That took some nerve.
I was so angry when I left there I could have taken him out.
So, I’ve been in the wine bottle, done my whining here, and vowed to never over function for that loser again.
I need a fucking 12 step program.
Divorce Whirlwind says
I think we could all use a few purse bricks… And boy, do I get this. We overcompensate (or rather, fill in the “blanks”) because we love our kids. And also, I believe, because whatever the reasons for the divorce, down deep, we still feel guilty that we ever needed one. (My two cents. Please pass a brick.)
Cuckoo Mamma says
Srsly, Whirlwind. When I noticed I was trying to help him in his relationship with his gf, it occurred to me that I might need to use the brick on myself.