I’m just not sure if it was good or bad.
I met my boyfriend’s son and we spent the past 2 days together
while I drove them to visit a college an hour from here.
I took them to the airport at 6 a.m. this morning and
have been in the fetal position since.
I really don’t know what to think. I think parts were good and parts were bad but it was definitely stressful. When I pulled up to the curb at the airport on Thursday, he got in the car, murmured “hey” and looked down immediately. He made no eye contact at all.
Me being the it.
(I’m all into Gifs today)
Anyway, after a tense afternoon and evening on Thursday, I drove them to the campus Friday morning. I had no idea where I was going but we made it other than one minor coffee spill on to my hand where I dropped the F bomb at the top of my lungs, but hey that coffee was hot. I dropped them off at the correct building (it took all 3 of us looking at the campus map) and then drove into the little town and puttered around for 3 hours while they were on the tour. So, yes,while I was the chauffer, I didn’t actually horn in on his college visit. I dropped $70 bucks on an adorable pair of shoes, bought a few books and then picked them up and we went to lunch. There was no eye contact during this lunch but he did engage. I asked him questions about the experience (which he answered politely before ducking his head again). Then Al excused himself to the bathroom, boy looked down immediately, and there was not one word spoken during his absence. We left and headed back home, no discussion in the car, other than Al and I talking about the flatness of the land. My neck started throbbing and this is where Al started to get edgy. We pulled in and the boy went to his room and we didn’t see him for about 3 hours.
Al said he hadn’t commented on me at all.
He also said he wasn’t going to ask him
because
“that would imply he got a vote.”
Yikes.
That was totally un-Al-like.
Told you my baby got edgy.
At that point I was just trying to keep him off the ledge.
Now that is a turn of events.
I rubbed his head and gave him lots of kisses (I even talked dirty to him)
because I had no idea what to do and sex is my go to when all else fails.
He had dropped his rose colored glasses and they were no where in sight.
When the kid got hungry he reappeared and we made a decision to go and get a quick dinner since they had such an early flight. It was during dinner that he warmed up some and for the first time made eye contact. Hallelujah. He talked about school, his friends, his girlfriend, and he actually even talked about his parents. He trashed his mom several times to the point that Al even told him “Let’s not rag on Mom.”
Horrors.
But he put a lot of little tidbits out there for Al to enjoy.
For instance he said,
“Mom and Dad and I can’t go to lunch to discuss college stuff. There is too much tension when they are in the room together. Let’s put it this way, they both lose about 80 IQ points when they are together.”
Ouch.
Poor Man.
Kids say the darndest things.
But my man had found his rose colored glasses and was delighted about it by the time we got home. He said that even though some of the stuff about the divorce was news to him, he was very happy that his son had let down his guard with me and finally relaxed and made eye contact. He was very relieved and said that it was everything it needed to be; he loved the school, the initial meeting of me was done and that he knew the boy well enough to know that if he relaxed and put all of that information out within my earshot, then he was fine with me.
Apparently he had been texting with his mom a lot throughout the day anyway.
I did make him mildly chuckle once, (and GOD IT WAS DIFFICULT) but when I was driving us back from dinner he said, “Dad, mom wants to know who the woman is in the picture you sent of campus?” Al said, “I have no idea!” and I piped up and said, “She wants to know if it was me! If it is a gorgeous young co-ed say, YES!”
and I got a
Hot damn and hallelujah.
This morning was awful, with Al and I murmuring love words while the boy showered and I drove them to the airport before the sun came up. As the kid get out, I said,
“It was so nice to meet you, have a good trip home.”
He looked at me and half smiled and said, “Thanks for everything.”
It’s over.
Dating with kids is not for sissies.
Stanley is on with my kids but I am hopeful to take them out for yogurt
or something later. I miss Al something awful and need
some hugs from kids who like me.
Anonymous says
Bravo. Sounds like you did just what you needed to in an effective fashion. I like the 80 IQ points comment, shows a kid with perspective.
–Anon B