It’s true… celebrities are idolized doing it. Getting divorced, that is.
Celebrity divorces are a great news story. Sad that a couple breaking up and often the juicy stories surrounding their fights over the children make for news now. With the use of social media those stories can spread in an instant, whether true or not.
What do we see? Celebrities in the spotlight being judged, positioning themselves as the “wronged” party and hiring high priced legal sharks to take up their cause and fight for their rights. It might make for an interesting read but, how is that different from what divorce looks like for us non-celebrity types?
For starters, we don’t have cameras following us around BUT we are judged; by friends, family, co-workers, our kids and at times society. Our lives all of a sudden become much more interesting to others, including the professionals that we need to support us through the process.
Do we try to position ourselves as the “wronged” party during divorce and make our ex the bad person? YES. We feel hurt, sad, mad or guilty and are looking for support wherever and however we can get it. I guess that it also the same.
When the news of a divorce spreads the reaction is often the same, “Oh we saw that coming,” or “I’m shocked, they seemed so happy.” The reactions are the same even for those couples that we are not that close to. The neighbors down the street, a colleague at work and/or your favorite movie star. We feel that we know them because we see them regularly on the train, at school or on the big screen.
There is a sense of loss that comes with divorce, celebrity or not. On that point I think we can agree.
Divorce should be a private process within the family but more often than not the world seems to find out and judge. For us, the world is much smaller than a celebrity’s but no less important. We can add that to the list of similarities.
We however can’t afford high priced legal sharks, sometimes we can’t afford lawyers at all. We need to fight our own battles and that is really where the differences lie.
How often have you heard that celebrities have gone to mediation and resolved their differences? Not very often would be my guess and as I mediator I am looking for these news stories. I don’t believe that it is because alternatives to litigation are not successful but they are not needed for those that can pay to have someone else tie up their loose ends.
For us normal everyday Joes keeping every dollar we have is a necessity. We can’t afford to pay for our anger, frustration and hurt. We need to look for alternatives to litigation and high priced lawyers.
At first glance celebrity divorces seem very different, especially given the money often spent in the process. But when you look closely, the differences are not as abundant. Whether you are in the spotlight or not, spouses cheat, couples fall out of love and people move on in different directions. No matter who it is, divorce is hard. It is the end of a relationship and that comes with emotional and financial stress.
At the end of the day there is no ‘one size fits all divorce’ and no two divorces will look the same. I’m just glad that mine didn’t make news headlines and I didn’t see myself on TMZ.
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