It’s never easy trying to get used to your new reality after a divorce, no matter who initiated it or under what conditions. This is especially so when you’re a mom and you recollect having to choose between putting up with your ex’s ways which drained you emotionally or letting go of the relationship and resolving to be the only one with your kids.
The emotions will come fast and furious; and in different shades, strengths and durations, often leaving you confused. They’ll often be conflicting feelings too, frustratingly alternating between excitement one day to a feeling of dejection and abandonment the next.
Don’t get too shocked. It’s a normal windstorm of emotions you’ll gradually work through to heal properly and embrace your new life. Here are practical ways to ride these waves of emotions and cope well after a divorce;…And maybe get ready to love again.
- Seek spiritual renewal
Whether you’re ready to accept that fact or not, this period will be one of deep soul searching. But it will also be a chance to reconnect with your inner self and a higher spiritual consciousness. Embrace those profoundly reflective moments and rediscover a wiser, smarter and potentially happier you inside, ready to recreate you.
- Show your kids the value of love and commitment
Now’s the time too to show your children they have the best mother in the world, and treat them to a new, side of you that they may not have seen in a while.
You can start by showing them old albums and videos of yourself when you were young or some of the things you used to do and enjoy; make them proud of you.
Going on a memorable holiday trip they’ve always fantasized about is also a good idea if time and funds permit. If the kids are used to summer holidays with their dad, it’s time to show them they’ll not miss a thing even with you being the only parent in their lives for large chunks of time.
- Talk to a friend or relative, but don’t divulge too much
The feelings could get so overwhelming that you can’t hold it all to yourself. Nor should you. It’s okay to confide in a few trusted friends or relations. There will be some dependable friends and extended family members who have the experience and good heart to provide a good support network. But don’t divulge too much. Also, that “supportive” friend or relation might be so busy and may not want all the details of your divorce – but just the summary.
- Try something new
Your happiness drove you to seek or agree to end the relationship in the first instance and it should drive you still after the divorce. Find a hobby, sport, support group or any new activity that give you a adrenaline rush and fills you with happiness and then get active with it.
You might want to join a book club, a fitness club or community service – any group that fits your interest. You may also want to try wind surfing, bungee jumping, sky diving or any of the daring things you’ve always thought about doing someday.
- Change a few things in your home
Some of your belongings can be so much a part of your life and you may attach a sentimental value to them. In the same way, after a divorce and you’ve divided the spoils of your life with your ex, you may need to dispose some of the things you owned together if they constantly brought back memories you wish to banish.
The bed, of course, should top this priority list, but so also other important devices you shared such as your TV, AC and heater. You may even choose to a total overhaul and get a professional company such as FixMyACSA have them installed to perfectly suit your taste and any other specific preference.
It’s an investment you must be willing to make to reconnect with your renewed and wiser inner self and help you move on to a happier, more meaningful future ahead of you.