Negative emotions during divorce are harder to deal with because divorce is such a mystery to most of us. Most will enter the process once and once you’ve entered you don’t know what to expect. Since that is the case, divorce will cause us to second guess every move and decision we make.
When we find ourselves in a situation that is a mystery to us, we can get lost in magical thinking or conspiracy theories. For example, we question every move our soon-to-be-ex makes and assign meaning to their actions based on anxiety and fear instead of reality. Bottom line, the negative emotions we experience during the divorce process cause our minds to do the opposite of what’s in our best interest.
It’s imperative that you be able to protect yourself emotionally, protect your legal divorce rights and come out the other side of divorce with no regrets. Below I’m going to share a few tips for how to manage negative emotions so you can do just that.
5 Tips For Managing Negative Emotions During Divorce
Don’t react right away
If you have a decision to make pertaining to your divorce, step back and take time to settle yourself emotionally. Don’t agree to anything if you’ve not put thought into it.
If there is a conflict between you and your soon-to-be-ex, don’t engage until you’ve taken time to soothe yourself and know that the way you do engage won’t cause more conflict.
Get Rid of Negative Thought Patterns
I think it goes without saying that the more negative our thoughts about our situation, the more negative emotions we’re going to experience. Evict negative thinking from your head! Negative thinking during times of adversity makes adversity worse.
Become More Aware!
Learn everything you can about your state’s divorce laws and how those laws are handled in your jurisdiction. Go to family court and sit through a couple of divorce cases, read up on mediation in your state so you’ll know what to expect should you go that route. The more knowledgeable you are about how divorce is dealt with in your state the more confident you will be. The more confident you are, the more relaxed about the process you’ll be.
Allow Yourself to be Vulnerable
If you can be emotionally vulnerable and ask for help when needed, you won’t carry around anxiety or stress that needs to be relieved. Asking for help can be really scary and hard. Sometimes we worry it will make us look weak or incompetent. Other times we worry we will hear “no”. Other times, we worry people will say yes, but that we will feel like a burden and become ashamed or embarrassed. BUT the truth is most of the time people LOVE to help others and love to be asked for help.
So, don’t isolate yourself from those who would support you.
Find a Way to be Thankful for Your Situation
There is a silver lining in every situation. If you’re the one who wanted out of a bad marriage, your silver lining is freedom. Be thankful it’s close at hand.
If you didn’t want the divorce, if you’re in pain over the loss of your marriage, you’ll one day know that divorcing is better than living with someone who doesn’t love you or want to be with you. Be thankful that you’re being freed up to one day meet someone who can’t imagine life without you.