In general, moms probably worry more than their fair share. I know that I do. Getting a divorce hasn’t exactly taken away my tendency to worry but it did shift things, refine things and helped me to re-focus on the things truly worth worrying about.
If you have to figure out where you are going to live, how you will support yourself and your kids, and what the hell you are going to do with the rest of your life – well, a few worries that you might have had before fall to the wayside. There are probably more than just these 5, but these are a few worries that I noticed recently have just floated away….
1. China: I still try to stay up on current events but, seriously, I just don’t have the time or energy to worry about World War III or if the Chinese are going to take over the world. I watched a marathon of old Bond movies with my son a few weeks ago and the bad guys were Japanese, then they were Russian, then Middle-Eastern terrorists – the bottom line is that I just can’t be worried about foreign enemies these days, I figure it will be India next and then maybe Canadians, or whatever other country we decide to be scared of after that. I know every Canadian reading this right now is thinking, “Yeah, you should be scared of us, America!” 😉
2. Hip Jeans: I might be wearing mom jeans right now. I don’t know and I don’t really care. There are probably some $400 dollar jeans that would make my butt look like Jennifer Aniston’s but that would require me to spend $400 on jeans. I don’t really need a better reason than that, right?
3. Television: I don’t track how much TV my kids watch. I don’t wonder if I should count their time on the internet, on their phones or on video games as additional “screen time”. I also don’t worry if I’m rotting their brains, at least not very much. They’ve been through their parents’ divorce, they get a pass on the screen time and I get a pass on being a bad mom for letting them watch Adventure Time.
4. Single motherhood: One of the scariest things about being a married mom was the fear of becoming a single mom – because I thought it meant poverty, loneliness and a strong likelihood of dying alone with a lot of cats. Being a single mom is tough, but it’s not nearly as bad as living and parenting in a dysfunctional marriage. Creating a healthy home environment allows me to be a better parent. Yes, I have two cats. My mom always told me a single woman should have a cat so that if you hear random noises in the night, you can blame the cat and not worry so much. That’s good advice and I only acquired two before getting re-married, so I think I’m good.
5. My bushy eyebrows: Every time I get a pedicure the lady asks me if I want her to do my eyebrows. This used to worry me, I’ve never had my eyebrows waxed or tweezed and you never know if your friends just aren’t telling you that you need a little hedge-trimming. I think they look okay, but I used to second guess myself whenever asked. Now, I’m just happy that I had the time and money to treat myself to a pedicure and I’m not a sucker for the upsell.
The silver lining to getting divorced may be thin, but there is one. A wise man told me that most things we worry about today will resolve themselves with time. I mean, you’re not worried about who asked you to prom or if your baby is going to be born with too many or too few fingers and toes, right? I’m happy a few things fell off my worry plate and I try not to focus too much on the ones that are left (therapy helps with that, too). Every once in a while it’s nice to take a look at how time truly heals in surprising and wondrous ways.
Let go of any worries lately?