No matter how long you’ve been a mother, you know that motherhood is hard. This job isn’t for the faint of heart. A divorce brings another layer of complexity and challenges to motherhood. As such, divorcing mothers need not only supportive friends and family members during this time but also a divorce attorney who genuinely cares about their case, its impact on them and their children, and the outcome of their divorce.
While every divorce attorney who represents mothers should be this way, unfortunately, they aren’t all like this.
Sometimes it’s going the extra mile or just taking a couple of additional minutes that show that someone cares.
Here are five ways you can tell if you have a good divorce attorney.
More Than Just “How Are You?”
It’s a redundant question asked and answered millions of times a day. Society has reduced it to being a typical and quick exchange between two busy parties. Most people never really want to know the true answer to this question; they just want to greet you politely and move on to business. This is okay in many situations.
However, suppose you want a divorce attorney who doesn’t see your family as just another client. In that case, this question shouldn’t just be a formality. If your attorney asks how you or your kids are and generally won’t accept a simple general answer such as “fine,” “okay,” or “great,” your value to them is more than just another divorce case.
If your divorce lawyer, more often than not, digs deeper when you provide answers like this that lack further information, it’s likely a sign that they really care about your divorce case. They care, and they want to know how they can help make this difficult situation easier for you, even if it’s just a listening ear.
Quick Response Times
Just like many other professionals, divorce lawyers are busy people. They can be difficult to reach and slow to respond to voicemails, texts, or emails. It’s unrealistic to think that your attorney will be able to pick up the phone each time you call or provide an immediate response to your email. Attorneys spend most of their days providing all clients with the undivided time and attention they deserve. Answering the phone each time it rings is counterproductive to that goal.
However, attorneys who are consistently punctual when returning client communication requests or who follow up when they say they will, are usually the ones who care the most. They see their work as more than a job that brings in a paycheck. These lawyers know they are working with real people who have real feelings and are impacted both now and in the future when it comes to how their divorce case is handled and settled. They know that sometimes questions and concerns can’t wait or that you just need someone to vent to.
Offering Reassurance
No matter the legal issue, most people who are actively represented by an attorney have concerns and need reassurance. As a part of their job, all attorneys need to inform their clients of certain things. Part of that role typically involves some reassuring words. Some legal matters or particular clients might need more reassurance than others. Divorcing mothers often fall under this umbrella.
If your lawyer is sympathetic and takes the time to understand your situation and feelings so that they can offer you genuine reassurance, they care about your case. You aren’t just another number to them. They care about how you feel and whether you can rest easier at night because of their services.
These attorneys won’t sugar coat their responses either in an effort to help you feel better. However, they will help you see the positive sides to your legal issues. Providing you with your options and different perspectives is their way of showing they care.
Providing Resources and Referrals
It’s not generally the attorney’s job to provide clients with resources and referrals outside of their legal obligations to help their client’s situation. It’s their job to provide legal representation, educate them about their legal options and rights, and proceed according to their wishes. When a divorce lawyer offers additional resources and referrals to their clients, it’s a reliable sign that they care about the outcome of their divorce and their well-being. Sometimes it’s as simple as recommending a book or a website, and other times it’s a more significant resource. Divorce lawyers who care about divorcing moms and their children will often provide resources and referrals when appropriate to:
- Local law enforcement
- Local community or religious support groups for women or children experiencing divorce
- Counselors and mental health professionals
- Government assistance programs
- Battered women’s shelter’s
- Other attorneys
Following Through
Many professionals, including attorneys, often make the mistake of saying they will do something and not following through. Others might say they will do something by a particular deadline but never meet that deadline. More pressing things might come up, people forget, and everyone makes mistakes. However, suppose your divorce lawyer, more often than not, does what they say they are going to do when they say they are going to do it. In that case, you can be assured they genuinely care about you and your divorce case.
No matter someone’s profession or the seriousness of their job, they prioritize what is important to them. If your lawyer has consistently shown you and your need to be a priority in their book, it’s a reflection that they do care about your case.
Divorce attorneys are certainly not nurses, doctors, teachers, or relatively well-known for being in a caring or nurturing career, but many genuinely care about their clients. Having one on your side who really does care about what you’re going through and the outcome of your divorce can make all the difference during this often confusing and frustrating time of life.
Thanks for this post. Clients don’t realize that a divorce is a team effort with life-long consequences. Picking the right attorney is key to obtaining the right result in your case.