Does Parental Alienation cause PTSD?
Let’s start with what Parental Alienation Syndrome is. It is an aggressive form of psychological abuse whereby one parent, usually, degrades and destroys the relationship between the children and their other parent.
Though primarily occurring in high conflict divorce and custody situations, it can be seen in intact families, between parents of parents, and even worse, child protective agencies. This destruction of a once very strong bond between the children and the parent is like a living death with no closure and thus a daily reminder of someone we love and feel disconnected from.
So what is PTSD? PTSD stands for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. But what does that mean? The DSM or Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders lists it with a diagnosis code of 309.81 and describes it as follows:
the development of characteristic symptoms following exposure to an extreme traumatic stressor involving direct personal experience of an event that involves actual or threatened death or serious injury, or other threat to one’s physical integrity; or witnessing an event that involves death, injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of another person; or learning about unexpected or violent death, serious harm, or threat of death or injury experienced by a family member or other close associate (Criterion A1). The person’s response to the event must involve intense fear, helplessness, or horror (or in children, the response must involve disorganized or agitated behavior) (Criterion A2). The characteristic symptoms resulting from the exposure to the extreme trauma include persistent re-experiencing of the traumatic event (Criterion B), persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness (Criterion C), and persistent symptoms of increased arousal (Criterion D). The full symptom picture must be present for more than 1 month (Criterion E), and the disturbance must cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning (Criterion F.)
But what does all this mumbo jumbo mean? It means that when a devastating event or series of events occur to an individual, it can have profound effects on their ability to cope and deal with it. The victim becomes paranoid or scared. They have panic attacks, uncontrollable crying, inability to think clearly, anger, fear, hatred, rage, uncontrollable fight and flight responses, even reoccurring thoughts or dreams of the event.
It can lead to extreme depression, exaggerated emotional responses including irritability and anger, substance abuse, insomnia or excessive sleep, nightmares, heightened attention and reactions, inability to concentrate or finish a task. Basically, the person feels lost, confused, scared, and all alone.
PTSD is classified with three levels or types. Acute PTSD occurs within the first 3 months. Chronic PTSD continues for 3 months or more. And Delayed Onset PTSD occurs after 6 months or more have passed and then the symptoms appear.
You can actually have PTSD but not know it because you have learned how to cope with it, control it and deal with it by compartmentalizing it. In other words, you have learned various tools and tricks to put it at bay so you can focus on what needs to be dealt with and then at a later date, when you can allow yourself, you break down from the PTSD. PTSD is not just a word or phrase for a tragic event; it is literally about the signs and symptoms caused by the reaction to this traumatic event.
How does parental alienation cause PTSD?
Parental alienation is severe trauma to an important relationship between a parent and their child. It is pervasive and goes on and on day in and day out until finally, the victims either concede to the stress of the emotional abuse or fights back with all their might. Each person’s response to this trauma is different.
For the Targeted parent and the children, it becomes a roller coast of emotions, fears, devastation, and abuse. A living death with no closure, they cannot move forward in a positive way. They are traumatized by the aggressive attacks from the alienator and hence the severe responses that we often see in the children and then in the targeted parent.
One might even venture a guess to say that the alienating parent is suffering from PTSD because of the loss of the marital relationship and control but is in survival mode to make sure that they are not abandoned and that they win at all costs.
Some of the many responses I have heard and seen from the trauma of PAS are:
- Uncontrollable rage and anger,
- Constant Fear,
- Constant anguish,
- Paranoia,
- Avoidance of the aggressor,
- Avoidance of the children,
- Substance abuse of all kinds,
- Inability to think rationally,
- Inability to control their emotions,
- Distancing themselves from everyone around them,
- Putting up walls to protect themselves,
- Flunking school or life,
- Obsessive-compulsive issues,
- Deviant behavior in the children,
- Hypervigilance in everything they do,
- Burying themselves in school or work,
- Panic attacks,
- Nightmares,
- Over-exaggerated responses to stimuli
I could go on and on with the signs and symptoms of PAS but there is no need. From this list, you can see how the psychological abuse of PAS has the same signs and symptoms as PTSD. This proves that PAS should be considered a form of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder caused by the trauma of psychological abuse. And this opens the door to an additional way of treatment for the victims of Parental Alienation.
FAQs About Parental Alienation And PTSD:
What is Parental Alienation Syndrome?
Parental Alienation Syndrome is categorized as an off-shoot of psychological abuse. A parent suffering from Parental Alienation Syndrome aggressively works towards destroying the bond between children and the other parent.
Does parental alienation syndrome relate to a high conflict divorce?
Mostly the Parental Alienation Syndrome is found at play in high conflict divorces, but it is not limited to it. Unfortunately, it has been detected in intact families, between parents of parents and, at times, child protective agencies.
How do you explain Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in simple words?
A person with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder will have panic attacks, uncontrollable crying, confusion, anger, hatred, rage, and recurring thoughts and dreams of a devastating event(s) he had suffered in the past.
How does parental alienation work?
Parental alienation causes trauma to the relationship between a parent and a child. Parental alienation causes stress to a victim until he or she either concedes to it or fights back.
Do alienating parents suffer from post traumatic stress disorder?
It’s a possibility that an alienating parent indulges in such a behavior after falling prey to the post traumatic stress disorder because of the loss of his or her marriage.
What are the signs of parental alienation syndrome?
Signs of parental alienation syndrome include rage, fear, anguish paranoia, avoidance of the aggressor and children, substance abuse, confusion, runaway emotions, nightmares and panic attacks.
Angel says
This is why I’ve been diagnosed with complex PTSD. I’m now severely agoraphobic. I haven’t left my house in a couple years .It’s horrible
Gigi says
I’m in the same situation as yourself.
It’s a horrific disorder.
Not many understand the depth of this. No compassion. I was the “ perfect” stay at home mom until my divorce.
My ex husband kidnapped my children.
Once I got them back they were so brainwashed. After years of being alienated, I haven’t seen my daughter in six years. She’s now 21 years old.
Yes, it’s a living death.
mike says
same here but “only” 5 years for me, two daughters now 17 1nd 19 last time I saw them they were little girls.
Good new though I still support them with monthly ransom payments.
Good times.
Loretta Blair says
It is freeing to know that some of what I am feeling is PTDS. I had a 2 year battle with my ex where he alienated my children, mainly my oldest son, from me. Now at times I don’t even want to be around the kids. I am afraid of them hurting me emotionally like that again.
I miss the mom I use to be.
Mike says
just wait till they start actively being involved in the alienation. Making up stories of abuse and reporting them to the authorities. Have fun proving yourself innocent.
Jana Rigsby says
My husbands parents stole our kids by way of undue influence, and lies. They talked my husband i to allpwi g them to adopt our 2 childern for financial benifit to the kids via social security of anything were to happen to them the childern would benifit greatly and they didnt want that to go to waste nothing would change or be diffrent, that was a huge lie and the kids would have great insurance thru their health insurance. My in laws being very wealthy them selves used money, political pull, and most of all their son my husband and my trust and the thought that they loved us and the kids enough to not ever do as they have and litteraly steal our children and alleinate them from he and i and try to erase us from their lives compleatly..the two people u should always be able to trust who should want the best for you and want to see you succeed and want help you back on track if you fail or faulter and be able turn to no matter what. This is unconditional love something they unfortunatly know nothing of…ot has been 6 long years since i have even seen or spoken to my kids we live in a small community of approx 20,000 people and never see our kids anywhere but they are here and will get in trouble if they even bring us up or mention our names…they stole our home of almost 9 years they we paid 75% of the rest they paid as a part of our wedding gift from them to us. My husbands father held a gun to his head in Front of our kids and i am co fident he would have killed him if our son hadnt have yell pa dont you shoot my daddy…they have lied and the worst of all told them we dont love them along with a many many other horrible lies and brain wash tactics. This has been a nightmare we are unable to wake from…and has destroyed us both….we paid an attny everything we had in saveings to get the adoption overturned right after we signed but “our attorney” did as she pleased and was further instructed and paid off to do and tried to keep them for evicting us from our home that was in their names as my father inlaw said, to keep me from Being able to get it when we divorced, we have been married for. Almost 14 years and together for 18 years. we didnt want that we wanted our kids and it
Did not go as we wanted or expected or were told it would and obviously not in our favor. Our lives have been an upsidedown hell and continues to be. time cannot be replaced or gone back to it is lost forever. We have missed so much they are 14 and 15. Now and 8 and 9 when they were stolen from our lives now and we are losing more every day this has brought and brings daily more devastation and trauma. How do we get help? Is there anything that can help us? There is much more to our story…. I feel like im drowning but i wont die the worse loss unexplainable there are no words to express my loss and this constant overwhelming pain…
Thank you for allowing me to vent i appreciate it greatly.
Jana Rigsby