A First Date For a Divorced Mom Who Still Loves Her Ex

Gravedigger

When you dig my grave

Could you make it shallow

So that I can feel the rain

Gravedigger

Yep, this is me, even in death I would want to suffer, wanting to feel the rain yet unable to leave grave.

But, could it mean, that even in death I would appreciate the smallest things as in feeling the rain. 

Depending on my mood at the moment, it could go either way.

I have been away for a while. There’s a lot to catch up on. Life is all about change. Sometimes life brings us little changes that are easy to accommodate, other times the change is drastic. I have had a bit of both.

• I went on a date. Dates are so overrated.
• I was released from my contract position. Didn’t even make it three months. Officially, I was told, “It’s not working out.” Hilarious. During week one, I knew it was not a good fit. Guess they knew also. 
• I had what I will call a “closure” lunch with Pap.
• Pap gave verbal approval from me to the leave state, again.

To keep things chronological, I will discuss my date in this post.

I met a dude at my local watering hole. No biggie. We both had been drinking and seemed to get along. Numbers were exchanged and he called the following week asking for a date. A proper date – pick me up, open doors, conversation over dinner, he paid, and returned home.

But, I was a nervous wreck getting ready for my first date in many, many years. Thanks to technology (text messaging) I have my thoughts as I prepared saved. So I figured I would share my text messages to my friend as I prepared for my first date as a divorced woman.

6:27pm – date is at 7:30

• Date night nervous, going to go poop.
• I’m such a weirdo; most girls would have picked out an outfit with friends and blah blah. I have no idea what I ‘m wearing and I’m texting you about nervous pooping. WEIRDO!!
• I have no girlfriends like that. Pick out outfits and shit. Hmmm, Nah, not really my scene. (My friend, receiving these texts is a male)
• Ok. I need help dressing. LOL
• The outfit I chose took entirely too long, yet is my standard fair
• Aww to be a dude. Throw on a plaid shirt, jeans and shoes. Not fair!
• And now makeup. This shit is so overrated!!!
• You got some gem texts. Inside the mind of a chick getting ready for a first date.
• Still no idea what shoes to wear
• To show toes or not to show toes. That is the question
• I should be twittering or is it tweeting all this
• I hope he does not drive a hoopty. That is so wrong.
• Fuck he’s early
• He has on plaid shirt and jeans
• Shit still need shoes
• He went to bathroom
• Ok signing off
• Scared

10:56 pm

• I am home

8:41 am

• Overall date. Eh, just eh, nothing major. Chances are its cause this chick is still in love with her ex husband. We got along ok. Both crunchy yet some bad habits. I’m not hot for him or anything.
• Nah…it’s all good. I stepped out there. Gotta start somewhere

First date after divorce is now in the history books. I hung out with the dude a couple more times, but I just had no interest. There were little things that raised red flags for me. Maybe I was just looking for excuses. I am sure he saw red flags in me also. Overall, I am just not ready to be in the dating scene yet. 

That was the date. My world was not rocked. He was a good guy and all but just not there and I am way to old to spend time verifying when I know there’s nothing there.

Ring around the rosey

Pocket full of posey

Ashes to ashes

We all fall down

Gravedigger

When you dig my grave

Could you make it shallow

So that I can feel the rain

Gravedigger

_{“Gravedigger” – Writer(s): David Proctor, Christopher Lavery, Kevin Matthews, Stephen Gildea, Steven Nixon}

Peace out,

Moxie