Divorce, the legal process, is emotionally draining. Due to this it can be easy to get lost and for divorce to become your entire life. I’ve been there! If you are lucky your divorce will be conflict free, over and done and you can move on.
If you aren’t, if the conflict is high and the legal process of divorce lasts months or, in some cases years you can begin to feel as if there is no end and at times can forget there was even a beginning.
For your own sanity, below are 5 things you should always do during the divorce process.
1. You had a life before you were married, you will have a life after you are divorce. Maintaining a “life” during the divorce process will enable you to move forward once you have that final decree of divorce in your hands.
2. Your ex, as badly as you want to get away from him, is human. Put some effort into considering his feelings. If he is a decent person, not an abuser or cheater put some effort into seeing the divorce from his perspective. Showing respect and consideration is better for you in the long-run and especially if there are children involved.
3. Make it about getting a divorce, not about “one upping” your ex. You will find plenty of divorce attorneys willing to play the game and us any opportunity to flan the adversarial flames. That is after all how divorce attorneys make money, by causing conflict and extending the process. Keep it as simple as possible, save yourself extended emotional stress and money on legal ees. Doing so means moving on to the life you have waiting for you after divorce.
4. Let go of the past, stay focused on the future. Staying stuck in the past and constantly thinking about negative things that happened during the marriage clouds your judgment and keeps you from thinking rationally. That is not the frame of mind you want to be in during divorce litigation. Plus, the less you hold onto the past, the less baggage you have to take with you into the future. One way to let go of your past is to get rid of the things you don’t need from your marriage. Put away painful mementos, sell your engagement ring, get rid of the marital bed. Start your new life afresh!
5. Don’t lose yourself in the process. As I said before, you had a life before you were married, you will have one after you are divorced. Don’t allow the stress of your divorce to turn you into someone you won’t recognize. Stay true to who you are as a person, hold tight to your moral beliefs and standards and you will find yourself stronger once you come out the other side of divorce.