From Fun to Frustrating - Why Is DATING So Hard?

We all want to find that special someone. If we all want the same thing, why is the process so intimidating and so frustrating? Dating brings up the same questions, over and over again:

Where do I find people?
Are there rules?
Do I have a type?
Do I even know what I am looking for?
Shouldn’t this be fun?

Even the definition of dating itself has changed. Are you dating or “dating”? Hooking up? Looking for a relationship or friends with benefits? I asked people on Facebook to define dating, and here are a few of my favorite answers:

Dating is spending time with another person in the hopes to form a relationship.

My 19 year old says it’s spending time with someone you have feelings for and have mutually decided it’s a date.

I wish people could skip all the formalities of dating and just be in love. But then again… The dating is the trial and error and fun times!

What I do know is this – however you define dating, it should be fun. You get to go out. You get to meet new people. You get to learn from new experiences. That all sounds positive, but sometimes it is not.

First dates have changed from what used to be a dinner and a movie, to a 30-minute coffee after connecting online, and now they all seem to start with a text and maybe progressing to a phone call. How exciting! (Yes, I’m being sarcastic here.)

Internet dating, in fact, is now one of the most successful kinds of dating, and in our busy worlds it is a wonderful solution for some people. But it’s a bit like window shopping – you must have a terrific picture and a great profile if you want to succeed. Other people still want to meet the traditional way – blind dates. Yes, I’m kidding! However, being introduced through a friend is still a tried and true method.

No matter how you come into your next relationship, here are a few friendly tips for dating:

Don’t commit too soon. I knew someone that bought their wedding dress after two dates!

Don’t try to impress the other person with money or possessions. We will like you, not what you give us, unless you are meeting the wrong type of person.

Don’t be the overly jealous type. We like that you want to be with us but we will not give up all of our opposite sex friends for you.

Don’t be too “nice,” acting like you want to be friends rather than lovers. Once in the friend zone, always in the friend zone.

Don’t be negative. Have you been on a date with a girl that doesn’t like her job, her friends, her ex or even the guy behind the counter at the coffee shop? Run! This applies to you men also.

Don’t forget that dating is as much about learning about others as it is sharing about yourself.

And the most important thing: Please don’t forget to let your personality come through! Dating can be stressful, but just be confident being you.

No matter what age you are, dating can be a challenge. But it can also be a lot of fun – learning about someone new, making friends, expanding your horizons and sometimes even honing your skills about how to deal with difficult people. And remember, you will have many dating experiences; some good, some bad and some great.

You need to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince or princess right?

What makes a date great for you?

photo credit: Anna~Martin via photopin cc