Children don’t handle divorce well, no matter how old they are and when it occurs in their development. Whether you’re a new mom with a young baby or if your child is in its preschool years, you need to handle this stressful time with great care and consideration in order for your child to one day grow up to be a healthy, thriving adult. Unfortunately, many children become emotionally scarred by their parents’ separation, which can also negatively impact their academic life.
But before your child even reaches that age when they can understand what’s happening, you need to set up a healthy routine and learn to balance your life and your baby’s needs early on. This will be the foundation for a happy and healthy life for the both of you, and it will allow you to overcome the stress of your divorce in a healthy and positive way.
Here are the 5 key tips you can use to balance your life and newborn baby after a divorce.
Create a support system
Life is always easier when you don’t have to go through it alone because after all, no human is an island. No matter how independent of a person you may be, and no matter how mentally and physically tough you’ve always been, understand that this is a time to accept any and all help you can get. Whether someone is trying to lend a helping hand or provide emotional support, or if you need professional help during this trying time, don’t be afraid to accept it, or ask for it.
Moms are proud. They are unrelenting and fierce, and they will fight for their child and their happiness, but you don’t have to do it alone. This is the time to build a support system composed of family and friends, maybe even a few key professionals like a parenting coach or a psychologist whom you can talk to. If you are on okay terms with your ex, make sure to get them involved in your child’s life early on and demand that they start contributing to a healthy routine for everyone.
Build a thriving routine
Speaking of a routine, you need one. Whether or not the other (ex) partner is in your and the child’s life, you need to build a routine that works for you and your lifestyle, your long-term goals, and the proper development of your kid. To do this, you may need professional help and guidance, but if you’re patient and you’re good at organization and planning, you can absolutely do it on your own.
You can start by putting your life on paper. Note everything down, and make sure to factor in your child’s routine. Eating, sleeping, playtime, everything should have its timeslot. Don’t worry, it will be a struggle at first, but kids adapt quickly to a routine you set if you only make sure to be consistent. Your goal here is to make your child’s needs fall in line with your own and free up some time to tend to your career and your life.
You won’t have any time to party with your friends anymore, but at least you’ll get some work done and the house will be relatively clean. We’ll call that a big win.
Use technology to your advantage
Modern tech makes our lives easier in every way, but you need to use it right. If you waste your time on social media, then you can expect your life to be a mess. But, if you use the apps that are designed to make your life easier, well, then you have a chance of building a thriving future for you and your child.
When you’re a new mom, parenting can be overwhelming most of the time, which is why innovative apps like the popular Mumli motherhood app exist to help you sort and organize your life, connect with other moms to figure it all out faster, and get some tips on how to handle your young child. There’s no perfect solution to managing your life and your kid, but there are some apps out there that aim to guide and support you on this journey as much as possible, so use them.
Tend to your needs when the baby is asleep
In those brief moments when your baby is out for the count, the last thing you want to do is collapse on the couch. Use your support system to tend to some repetitive chores like cleaning, folding the laundry, or getting the groceries, while you tend to your needs.
Your physical and mental health is of the utmost importance right now, so you need to find some time to exercise to rejuvenate your body and spirit, get a healthy meal in your belly, and just take a relaxing bath. You can do all of this while the baby is sleeping, provided that you’re very, very quiet.
Nothing is set in stone
What many life coaches and parenting gurus won’t tell you is that things are constantly moving, and nothing is set in stone. We talked about building a routine, and that’s fine, you should have one, but you also need to stay flexible and agile when it comes to your routine and lifestyle.
If you adapt to the needs of your child as they change and if you adopt a come-what-may attitude when a change is on the horizon, you will find yourself far more prepared to balance your life, career, and your baby. Have a routine, know what you’re doing, but listen to your needs and the needs of your child, and don’t be afraid to adapt on a moment’s notice.
Over to you
Divorce can make a big impact on your child, but also on your own mental and physical health. Don’t let this trying time define your future, instead, use these tips to build a healthier routine and connect with other moms online who can help you overcome these challenges, together.