Whether you finalized your divorce yesterday or have been single for years, finding joy after a divorce may seem impossible. How will you ever find happiness again? Well, we aren’t here to sugarcoat the situation. Divorce is one of the most difficult things a person can go through. However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel, a chance to start fresh and make a new life for yourself.
So, if you’re ready to find joy again after divorce and a reason to smile again, there are a few things you can do.
Forgive But Don’t Forget
In the weeks and months following your divorce, it’s easy to trash talk your ex. However, even if their words and actions were the reason for your divorce, it’s important to keep things civil, especially if you have children. Eventually, you can even come to forgive your ex-husband and learn to work together if you’re sharing custody of the kids.
However, you should never forget all the negative aspects of your marriage. When you start to regret your decision or miss your old life, remind yourself why you got divorced. Doing so will help you move on mentally and emotionally.
Adopt a Positive Mantra
Of course, it’s also important to remind yourself of all the good in your life. After all, you still have your kids and a bright future ahead — if you choose to see it that way. Developing a mantra or self-affirmations can help you embrace the good and find a more positive outlook on life.
Jot down a few affirmations like “I am worthy of love” or “I believe in my ability to move on and succeed.” Then, repeat them to yourself a few times throughout the day. It may take some time before you notice any changes but, eventually, you’ll experience subtle shifts in perspective. Over time, this simple practice can lead to a happier, more joyous life.
Alone time is essential for processing emotions and sifting through sentimental belongings. However, spending time with others is equally important in the months following your divorce. When your thoughts and emotions become too much to handle on your own, you must have someone with whom you can confide.
Find a close friend, family member, or therapist with whom you can share your thoughts, feelings, and deepest fears. Often, simply getting things off your chest will make life a little less heavy. Plus, your listener might offer advice or help you see things from a different perspective, which is helpful when you’re trying to find a glimmer of joy in a dismal situation.
Create New Traditions
For divorced parents, holidays, birthdays and other celebrations can be some of the most difficult days of the year. Sure, you’ll probably still get to see the kids, but things just won’t be the same without your ex there. Instead of dwelling on the missing link to your festivities, create new traditions that don’t rely on the help of another parent.
For instance, if you and your ex-husband dressed up as Santa and Mrs. Claus to go caroling every Christmas, start a new tradition where you and the kids bake cookies and deliver them to the neighbors. Finding other simple ways to transform yearly celebrations will also take your kids’ minds off their dad and help them rediscover their sense of joy as well.
Invest In Yourself
The odds are you put a lot of time and effort into your marriage before finally deciding to get a divorce. Somewhere along the line, you may have sacrificed your hobbies, interest, or even your health to try and make things work. Now, however, you have time to reinvest in yourself and revisit old passions.
Maybe you used to love knitting but gave it up to make time for your kids or learn how to cook for your family. Pick up a pair of needles and see if your old hobby sparks some joy. Shift your attention to your health and fitness, too. When was the last time you moved and breathed and felt really good in your own skin? Explore your body and get to know its strengths and weaknesses once again.
Taking Your Time
Many women choose not to remarry after getting a divorce, and those that do typically settle down again after about three and half years of flying solo. However, there is no timeline and no rush to find love again. Whether or not you want to remarry has no bearing on how joyous your life can be.
For right now, just focus on yourself and take your time. Fall in love with life and its limitless possibilities. Soak up the sun, allow yourself to dream, and look for little reasons to smile every day. Happiness will come. You just have to be patient and gentle with yourself.