Getting a divorce can be hard for a multitude of reasons, whether you’re the one who asked for the split or if it was the other way around. No matter the reason for your divorce, the process of self-love and self-discovery after everything is finalized can be a lot to handle emotionally. If you’re in that phase, you may be worried that these feelings will last forever, or that your journey to self-love might be too hard. And even though everyone is different and processes tough situations their own way, there are ways to move on from a divorce and even learn from past situations.
No matter how your divorce process went down, you need time to process and grieve the end of a relationship. But with that comes the fulfilling experience of getting to know yourself better, developing new hobbies and relationships, and even having satisfying relationships outside of your romantic life. There are so many ways that you can learn to love yourself after your divorce. Your process will be unique to you, and that’s how it should be! If you’re looking for ways to move forward and practice self-love after your divorce, here are just a few things you can do.
How to Love Yourself Post-Divorce
1. Allow Yourself to Mourn
Some people don’t think they need to mourn, and while everyone is different and processes changes in their own way, it’s perfectly normal to experience a range of emotions about the end of a romantic relationship. Whether or not you were the person to end your marriage, a divorce signifies a big life change. Whether you feel sad, angry, scared or alone, remember that those feelings are a part of the grieving process, and they will pass with time.
2. Rebuild Your Relationships
Divorces can take a toll on your outside relationships, just like they can take a toll on your actual romantic relationship. Many people find that after a divorce, they need the support of friends and loved ones. Even if you haven’t been around as much due to your marriage or your divorce, it’s never too late to reconnect with those you love. Building community can help you heal, and you may find that it helps you move on faster.
3. Start by Liking Yourself
While it might sound a bit cheesy, liking yourself and enjoying your own company can be a great starting point when it comes to moving on after a divorce. Self-love can often feel like a demanding task, especially when you have a lot going on emotionally and practically in your life. Instead of demanding self-love right away, you can begin by focusing on what you like about yourself. Just like any relationship, you don’t need to be head over heels right away in order for your love to grow and blossom with time!
4. Engage in Hobbies and Activities
Similar to learning to like yourself, engaging in activities that make you feel good and take your mind to happier places can be a great way to enjoy the time you have with your newfound freedom. Remember that hobby or pastime you never took the time to try while you were married? Now is the time to dive headfirst into whatever it is! This is the chance to get to know yourself in a whole new way! Go to classes, meet new people and if you don’t like it, try out something else.
5. Focus On Wellness
While physical health isn’t the complete key to unlocking mental health, the two are highly interconnected. While you probably shouldn’t do a crazy post-divorce diet or revenge-body kick, focusing on wellness is about serving you and your needs with the way you treat your physical body. It might be as simple as reminding yourself to drink enough water and get outside once a day, or it could take the form of finding a new workout you love and feeding your body lots of nutritious foods. Everyone is different, and that means you should figure out what you need and lean in towards that.
6. Try Dating Casually — If You Want
You should never push yourself into dating — or anything, for that matter — before you’re ready. However, if you truly do feel ready to get back out there, starting with a few casual dates and a bit of flirting might be a great first step for you. Dating and relationships can be a bit overwhelming sometimes, especially if you’re coming out of a years-long marriage and out onto the scene again. But going on a few dates here and there can remind you of the great selection of people the world has to offer. Socialization can be a powerful thing, no matter the form it takes.
Loving Yourself Post-Divorce
If you’re coming out of a divorce, it’s important to remember that you are strong, capable, and amazing just the way you are. There are so many ways to love yourself after experiencing a divorce, and even though everyone is different, you can try out a variety of techniques until you start feeling the love all over! From rebuilding relationships to focusing on your health, there’s nothing you can’t conquer!