When children have a secure attachment with their parents, they feel safe and loved. This allows them to explore the world around them and form healthy relationships themselves as they grow older. If a child does not have a secure attachment with one or both parents, they may be more likely to experience problems with trust, self-esteem, and relationships later in life.
It is very important to remember no one goes through a divorce alone. It is an incredibly difficult process, and it’s even harder when you must worry about your children’s well-being as well. Thankfully, there are many resources such as child psychologists and trauma treatment centers available to help you and your children get through this tough time. This article will outline some of the best ways to find support during and after your divorce so that you can make the best decisions for yourself and your family.
Emotionally support your child during and after a difficult divorce
Divorce is often marked especially by those with children! It is an emotional roller coaster ride from beginning to end, and it’s hard enough just trying to deal with all those emotions without adding in the change of losing contact with friends and family members because they don’t know how or feel uncomfortable talking about it or just want nothing more than to avoid a potentially uncomfortable conversation with you.
However, what people fail to understand is that it’s not just about you. You may be feeling lonely or isolated after your divorce, but you have a whole other person to worry about in the mix. You can’t just ignore their feelings and leave them in a tent without any sort of support because that isn’t fair to them. If you want to have a successful relationship with your child after your divorce, it’s important for them to have people in their lives to talk about this with as well.
It might be hard finding people you can truly trust, but if you’re lucky enough, you might find people who can support you through your divorce and be there for both of you.
What to do if your child experiences trauma because of the divorce
Divorce can be a traumatic experience for kids, and the shock waves from the split will continue to reverberate throughout their lives. Divorce is so hard on children that many experts say it’s worse than the death of a parent.
It’s not just difficult to deal with divorce in front of your child, but also afterward when they have questions about why Mommy and Daddy don’t live together anymore. And you may not know how to answer them or what kind of explanation you should give them. It’s important that children are given age-appropriate information about their parents’ separation, which means understanding that things will change but people still care for each other very much.
After all, kids are resilient beings who naturally want stability in their lives, and they’ll do whatever it takes to maintain a sense of order even in the face of their parents’ divorce. So, they may ask for changes in their household, such as requesting that you and your new partner both spend a night at his house each week. If this is too much for them to handle, don’t be afraid to have a sidebar discussion about the steps you think they can take to adjust to these changes.
How can you maintain a secure attachment with your children during and after a divorce?
No one said that going through a divorce would be easy, especially when it comes to maintaining a secure attachment with your children. But there are ways to make the process less painful for both you and your kids. Here are four tips that can help.
Stick to Your Routine as Much as Possible
It is important that you maintain your parenting routine as much as possible after the divorce. This will help with your children’s attachment consistency, which is the idea that they can rely on you to be there for them. Also, maintaining the same parenting rules as you did before will make your children feel more secure knowing that things are familiar.
Do Not Feel Like You Have to Put Your Child First Over Your New Partner
Do not feel like you must put your child ahead of the relationship with your new partner. Having a strong relationship with your new partner is important in establishing secure attachment in the future, but if you feel like you are pushing your child away because you are always with your new partner, then it will be harder to maintain that secure attachment. You need to do what is best for your child and your children will understand in time.
Don’t Be Afraid to Seek Counseling
Seeking out counseling for yourself and your children is a great way to help them cope with all the changes going on during and after a divorce. Being able to release your children’s emotions in a healthy and controlled environment during this time can help aid in them not carrying any unnecessary stress and anxiety.
Keep the Lines of Communication Open
During and after a divorce it is important to keep the lines of communication open with your children. This means talking about their fears, any concerns they may have, and how you can help them in a positive way. If your children don’t express their feelings to you that does not mean that they are not feeling them. Just being there for your children no matter what can be enough to help them cope with their emotions and reduce some of the anxiety.
Divorce is never easy, but it can be especially difficult for children. It’s important to maintain a sense of stability for them by sticking to your routine as much as possible and keeping the lines of communication open. If you’re feeling overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to seek counseling for yourself and your children.