Dangerous waters we’re in my friends. This topic can be so situational as to not warrant an opinion without context. That said, I have a simple piece of advice.
But first, let’s build our own context, in a broader sense:
I have found that single women, when asked to describe men in the general sense, often will lay out the following adjectives:
- Strong
- Dog
- Player
- Sex Driven
- Confident
- Non-Communicative
These words, while mostly negative, are nonetheless common responses. The average time it takes for two people to have sex is four dates or 23 days. This is after going on a first date or deciding they were interested in exploring a potential relationship with each other. Reading these bullets as they unfold tells us two distinct things: (1) Women don’t trust men’s intentions; and (2) Women have sex with men fairly quickly after deciding to pursue something with them. Translation: We’re having sex with people we don’t really know, and with very little time spent understanding who they are beyond the bravado and words commonly associated with those first few dates
Now, I am not here to judge but instead to tie some thoughts and realities together. So here it is: If you had sex with him and he dumped you right after and you have skeptical views of men in general and you didn’t know him beyond the bravado, it’s very possible you were used. What’s more, when you tell your friends what happened, their default view will be that you were used. Why? Because that’s the common theory. And my friends, theories and stereotypes happen for a reason.
Please hang me out to dry now. I’m giving you an over generalized view that is very anti-male leaning and has little to no context to your exact situation. Right? To which I say, why else would you have been dumped in the very near time to when you had sex?
- Were you bad in the bedroom? Maybe. But I doubt it, and my rationale has nothing to do with you specifically. Instead, it’s tied to the bigger reality that when it comes to the bedroom, sex and pleasure are much simpler for men than they are for women. They don’t need, demand or get frustrated by a lot of things in that regard.
- Did other things occur in the relationship right at that same time that made him reinvestigate his desire to be with you in the long term? Uh, not likely but if it did, then why did he go ahead and have sex with you?
- Did he have a different opinion of your status? Translation: Perhaps, in his mind, he wasn’t using you for sex and it was you that had an unrealistic view of your relationship together.
- Did he contract a rare liver disorder that has left him with 69 days to live? We may be onto something here!
Okay, so I don’t want to make light of the situation. Instead, I want to put this whole thought process into perspective. Two things happen when someone leaves after you’ve had sex with them: (1) They move on; and (2) You wonder. And wonder. And wonder some more. And over wonder.
Don’t over think it. Instead:
- Think about your perspective on the male species and where it stems from. Your history with them? History’s history of them?
- Think about your history with this person that you had sex with before they dumped you.
- Think about when you had that conversation about status and commitment. Where did you think it was going and where did they tell you their head and heart were?
At the end of the day, you’ll discover that it all ties together and we go back to the piece of advice I alluded to at the beginning: Go with your gut! Your gut will be guided by those things we already discussed.
FAQs About Women And Sex:
How do single women describe men?
Single women describe men in many ways, but some common adjectives they use to relate to their experience include: strong, dog, sex driven, confident, and non-communicative.
How long does it take for two people to have sex?
The length of time for two people to have sex after they meet differs a lot and depends on several factors. However, the average time for two people to have sex after they meet is 23 days or four dates.
Why women have sex with men quickly?
Women have sex with men fairly quickly once they make up their mind to pursue them for a reason.
Why did he dump me after having sex?
If he dumped you after having sex with you, the chances are that he took advantage of you.
Is it difficult to satisfy men sexually?
It’s not difficult to satisfy men sexually as compared to women—needing emotional attachment before going down that path.
Has he stopped seeing me after having sex because of a problem?
It’s unlikely that a problem is keeping him from seeing you after having sex with you. He had no problem when he had sex with you. Or did he?
Related Articles:
- When Your Ex Wants To Have Sex, What Should You Do?
- Sex: To Have Or Not Have, When Is Too Soon?
- 5 Benefits Of Having A “Friend With Benefits”
- Are Friends With Benefits Friends?
I read somewhere that women need be confident that they are in a relationship to have sex and men need to have sex to see if the relationship is viable. Sex is readily enough available to not have to trick someone into it by pretending you are into a relationship just to hit it and quit it. It’s just not worth the agrivation.
I our web based world, consider that texting, chatting, creaping on someone’s facebook account, profiles, etc. can give a false sense of knowing the other person. If you’ve chatted for a couple of weeks and have seen all of their pictures, what the are up to and thinking, and know what they say their interests are, you can feel like the relationship is well on it’s way before the first date. Whey they tell you their Grand Canyon donkey story and you’ve already pictured it from their Facebook photos, you are going to feel like you know them better than you actually do. Very likely that there can be a difference in how the other person feels things are going.
As a single parent, I don’t have a ton of free time further complicated by insisting that I keep my dating life separate from the kids until looks like it’s going to be a thing. For me, breaking things off after three dates requires a discussion or at least some sort of notification. So if the relationship doesn’t have LTR potential by date number three, I generally call it, only breaking it off earlier if there is a major problem (everybody is nervous and anyone can have a bad day). If we haven’t had sex yet, I’m going to estimate it (probably rounding down). Sex is still very important to me and the relationship will go no farther if it’s not good, even if it takes months to get to the point where I know. It’s just that now it requries a breakup.