How do you move past the ultimate betrayal? How do you recover?
A man that you admired and respected, your friend and confidante, your precious lover betrays you in the worst way?
How do you cope with the realization that you’ve been duped and conned? You gave him your heart, your trust, your body and he crushed it with unthinkable betrayal.
How do you understand how you were a victim of his gaslighting? Enforcing restrictions and sanctions and double standards and then turning them all around as if it’s your fault? It’s emotional abuse and you let it happen. You’re a strong, independent woman and you let this man, that you trusted, into your world and he destroyed yours when you no longer suited his needs.
I don’t know how to move past his betrayal:
He lied to me.
He cheated on me.
He changed his story constantly and then berated me for my confusion and upset.
He broke every promise he made to me.
He told me just weeks before I found out that he had already replaced me that I was special and beautiful and precious. He was thinking of me with fondness, listening to songs that reminded him of me but turned around and curled up beside another woman and held her as she slept after he had been intimate with me the same night.
He called me crazy and obsessed when I was hurting. He toyed with my mind, told me countless lies and misguided my thoughts, all the while building his affection with another woman and making me look like a complete fool, throwing myself at him, begging him for. He chastised me like a child, emotionally abused me in the worst way. Talked down to me like I was nothing. I was worthless to him. He had already moved on, gotten over it.
He took zero responsibility and accountability. He blamed it all on me. The story constantly changed and yet it was always my fault.
The sad part is that I saw it coming from a mile away. It was like a game of chess, where I predicted every move yet I still ended up in checkmate.
He degraded me in the worst way and I was stupid enough to let it happen.
Today I take my power back and I say “no more”. With his callous admission and refusal to see why and how what he’d done would hurt me as badly when he said our connection was forever severed. I never want to see or hear from him again. I mourn the loss of my lover, but mostly my friend.
I will spend a lifetime regretting him and trying to forget every moment we shared because it was all a farce, a total lie. He is not the man that I loved. He is not the man I thought he was. He is a weak, pathetic player, a coward, a vile excuse for a human being.
I am a strong woman and he took me down at the knees. My heart is about to explode. My brain spinning, wondering what else he’s lied about. How many women have there been? How many lies has he told? How else has he degraded me?
Memories flash through my head and stop at my heart where they crumble and die. All the good times we shared. All the wonderful moments I thought were real, were false.
He said that I could never be replaced, that he would always care for me. He said I was always close to his heart. No. The woman he’s sleeping beside with her head against his back or chest, that’s who’s close to his heart. I am nothing.
I pray to God and all that’s holy to help me heal from this excruciating pain. I pray for the mental fortitude to forget him and the role he played in my life. I was forgotten and replaced by the only man I ever loved and who, I believed, loved me in return. I was a fool.
This kind of betrayal is life changing. I will never be the same. I always have trust issues, now he’s destroyed any chance I will ever have again of believing someone loves me.
I will come out stronger, though, albeit alone. He can continue living his lies and his pathetic false life. I no longer have a need for such a cruel person in my world.
If you are reading this and there is one thing that resonates with you about a relationship you are in, if there is even one shred of doubt about your man’s character, run, as fast and as far as you can and heal yourself. Make a vow that no man will ever have the opportunity to destroy you like that again.
More from DivorcedMoms.
- 5 Ways to Learn to Trust Yourself After Infidelity
- 10 Ways He’s Cheating on You Without Having an Affair
- A Manifesto for the Recently Betrayed – It’s About YOU, Not Them
- Check Out Your State’s Divorce Resources And Advice