Is it me or do I pick the wrong type of man? I don’t know. How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?
Let’s see… I just returned from a ten-day cruise to the Panama Canal. It was a wonderful experience. The reason for the trip was to travel with my brother and my mother and assist them on the excursions and in general, I wanted to go. I needed to use the opportunity. I never get to travel. I didn’t even have a passport prior to this trip.
My recent separation has left me depressed and questioning everything in my life. This cruise took me to five different countries and I had a really great time. Five of the ten days were spent at sea so I had some time to people watch. This cruise was filled with old people. Many of them were married couples. So, it made me wonder what these women do right. And what is it that I obviously do wrong? How do they keep their man interested in the marriage and them?
It seems to me that I must pick the wrong type? From what I gather, men who stay married are truly gentle men. They were raised with values. They were employed. They are good with paying the bills and saving a few pennies along the way.
But are they happy?
That’s tough to say. As far as I remember there’s nothing that guarantees happiness in wedding vows. “Richer poorer, sickness health, better worse, death us do part.” Nope happiness is not guaranteed. And that’s the answer to my question. What do I do wrong? I’ve made the mistake of wanting my man to be happy. I’ve encouraged it, enjoyed it and when the going got rough I let him off the hook.
What Does That Make Me?
A bad person, a bad wife, a bad catch? Again, I don’t know. So far I’ve picked a man who was my first love. He was young, hot, hunky, and not ready for the responsibilities of raising a family. We stuck it out for 13 years and then it was clear that I wanted to settle down and get some security going. He wanted to see what else was out there.
Then I found a guy that seemed like he was the right type. He had a nice house and a good job. Perfect right? The poor guy’s first wife ran off with a hot hunky guy. He couldn’t have been the problem, right?
Wrong! He was a control freak. His first wife ran screaming from him and eventually I did too.
Third time around I married Mr. Charming. I still want Mr. Charming but he doesn’t really exist. He wants me but only for his personal gain. We never actually had anything of value. It was all just smoke and mirrors. Now that I’ve realized that and want him to “change” he doesn’t want me if having me means changing the negative aspects of his personality. Hmmm, what am I doing wrong? Why am I attracted to the wrong type of guy?
I’m not. It isn’t me.
Just like a lot of hot blooded romantics I want a hot, millionaire with a troubled past that I can save and live happily ever after with. That’s not crazy. Is it? No, it’s not crazy. I’m not crazy. The answer is that I’m unrealistic. So what?
The answer is I need a new plan. I need my own happily ever after. My kids are grown. I’ve done my job there. I now need my own success, my own income, my own bills paid and my own pennies saved. Then I’m free. I don’t have to settle. I don’t need Mr. Right who ends up unhappily ever after. My days of being a “package deal” and a “ball and chain” are over. The next man or men that keep my company are going to do so because they want to. More importantly, because I want them to.
I used to think happily ever after meant till death us do part and I would have stuck it out with any of my men. But seeing sad old men just going through the motions doesn’t make me feel that happy for them. I’m not spending my precious days on earth with a miserable old man and I’m not jumping through hoops to make him happy. We are all responsible for our own happiness. So to my latest catch I’m sorry you’re no longer happy. I’ll throw you back in the water buddy and enjoy the rest of my cruise.