You have been unhappily married for quite some time and the possibility of divorce has crossed your mind.
You have been evaluating the pros and the cons of staying with your husband and it is a tough call. You feel miserable but it can feel so right at times…
Read on for helpful tips on how to use meditation and tap into your intuition to guide you in making this difficult decision with poise and confidence.
Leaving the love of your life is no small task
Deciding whether to leave an unsatisfying marriage or sticking it out is no small task. It’s a major decision, as big as getting married, if not more. Therefore, it should not be made in haste or in the heat of an argument.
In addition to taking the time to evaluate your relationship, you need a peaceful and quiet mind, so that your inner wisdom can bubble up and guide you into taking the right course.
Unfortunately, we are often consumed by obsessive thinking. The truth is that solutions cannot come into a mind that is cluttered with thought patterns of fear, anger, victimhood, revenge or any negative emotion. So, the first step is to quiet the mind.
Let Intuition Guide You In The Decision To Divorce
Cultivate a peaceful mind through meditation
The best way to quiet the mind is through meditation. Meditation is a highly effective tool to heighten awareness and restore a sense of serenity and inner peace.
The word meditation conjures up all kinds of images, but the truth is that you do not have to stand up on your head chanting mantras nor lay on a bed of nails. You are not required to embrace beliefs that may conflict with your own. These mysterious associations may scare some people, but this does not need to be the case.
Meditation is essentially quieting the mind. Turning off the inner chatter that torments us with thoughts of the past and fear of the future.
These ceaseless thoughts steal our attention from living in the present moment, where the action is. Where things happen. Where ideas flow. Where change takes place.
Most of us have so much clutter revolving in our heads that we are convinced we cannot turn off our minds. Especially when we are in unhappy situations that consume our attention.
Yet meditation is not about instantaneously drawing a blank for hours at a time. You start by slowing down your thoughts until you eventually feel the bliss of serenity. And once you experience that peace, you will be hooked. You will never get enough of it.
Meditating is easy
The easiest method of meditation is to sit comfortably with your back straight, close your eyes and follow your breath. Focus your attention on your in-breaths and out-breaths for five to ten minutes. If thoughts arise while you’re meditating, release them and return your attention to your breath.
In time you can increase the duration of your meditation sessions, or try more sophisticated techniques.
As you can see, meditation is simple, free, needs no fancy equipment and can be practiced anywhere at any time.
There are countless styles of meditation. Choose the one that’s right for you. Experiment with different techniques until you discover the one that hits the spot.
You may switch styles at different times, depending on your mood and circumstances. Feel free to play on your own, and create a routine that will make you feel refreshed, alert and alive.
Learn new techniques and meet kindred spirits
Jumpstart your meditation practice! Take a class or go on retreat and meet fellow meditators who can support you on your practice. Pick up a book or browse online. The Internet is full of resources, including guided meditation videos to help you get started. Check out Simple Habit, a free meditation app to get you meditating in five minutes!
One of my favorite spiritual teachers, Tara Brach, has fantastic information on her website, including guided meditations and comprehensive meditation FAQs. Her peaceful demeanor and soothing voice will have you in the zone in no time.
Brach’s beautiful teachings have been instrumental in my spiritual evolution and can support you, too, as you transition from an unhappy marriage to an awakened life.
Like many people, you may be skeptical that you can meditate. Anyone can meditate, including you. And once your mind is quiet, you can let your intuition do its job and guide your decisions and actions in every situation.
Intuition: your internal guidance system
As you stand bewildered on a fork on the road wondering what to do, realize that you have an internal guidance system that knows the solution to every problem and the answer to every question. It’s called intuition.
Intuition is your inner sage. It is often referred to as the sixth sense or the “still small voice” within. Intuition is that hunch that nudges you to turn right when you know you’re supposed to turn left, only to avoid an accident or a traffic jam.
Intuition directs you to call a friend, only to learn this person was in danger or need, and your call was heaven sent. Perhaps it convinced you to walk into an unfamiliar store where you found an elusive item you had been long searching for.
Intuition is always active and available to guide you, anywhere, anytime. And it responds to your requests for assistance. It will help you discover the right answer every time, if you let it. It will show you the way.
When you follow your intuition and surrender to its guidance, things go smoothly and unfold in perfection.
Step back and get out of your own way
Perhaps you have not enjoyed the full benefits of intuition up to now because you were not in tune with its power. We are conditioned to rely exclusively on our reasoning minds, and to reach our solutions from the (limited) pool of knowledge that we have. So we knock ourselves out over-thinking the solution to our problems when, in reality, we would do ourselves a favor if we stepped back and allowed intuition to step in and reveal the answers.
You have the gift of intuition
You may think that intuition is a faculty possessed only by psychics or saints. But everybody has the gift of intuition, whether or not they realize it. That includes you.
Some people may appear to have a keener intuition. They seem to mysteriously know things hidden to the rest of us. That is because these people have made a habit of listening to it, trusting it and following where it leads.
You can cultivate your intuition and fully enjoy its benefits, too. Unleashing the magic of intuition is easier than you think. It merely requires you to get out of the way and let it do its job. It is releasing your ego’s need to control every outcome and welcoming the possibility that your path will reveal itself at each junction on the road.
Follow these steps to wake up your intuitive powers:
- Quiet your mind
- Meditate for a few minutes and clear your mind of obsessive thoughts and negative emotions. Negative emotions block the flow of intuition.
- Ask the right question to get the right answer
- Articulate in your mind the problem you are seeking to solve. In order to get the right answer, you need to pose the right question.
- Ask the question from a place of integrity and make it your intention to attract the best solution for the highest good.
- End with this affirmation from Florence Scovel Shinn:“I am always under direct inspiration; I make right decisions quickly.”
- Let the answers come
- Release your query and allow the answers to come to you without forcing them. Sleep on it, as the saying goes. I prefer to do this exercise before going to sleep, and the answer often comes in a dream or a thought that pops up when I wake up in the morning.
- Listen for the messages
- The answers will come to you, but you can only notice them if you are open and receptive. Use active awareness and pay attention!
- While it would be convenient if they appeared on a billboard addressed to you personally, your responses can arrive in in a variety of ways, many of them surprising.
- They can come in the form of a thought or idea. They can appear as an image, a mental picture, a word or a song. Your answers can be delivered in a call from a friend or a random encounter with a stranger. You can receive a subtle sign or be struck with a major epiphany.
- Learn to trust your intuition
- Intuition is the opposite of the reasoning mind. Very often your intuitive hits will defy common sense. We run into problems when we try to second guess our intuition. Or when we become attached to an outcome and are unwilling to consider that there’s a better way out.
- Get rid of the graspingness. Do not fight your intuitive leads and see where they take you.
- Act on your intuitive hits
- If you feel prompted to do something, go for it! Your surprise blessing may be waiting for you, or a wave of favorable unforeseen events may ensue. I am not suggesting you engage in reckless conduct, but if a seemingly harmless idea pops up, what do you have to lose?
- At first glance, this may seem senseless to you. But questioning intuition will neutralize its efficacy. If you can’t bring yourself to trust the unknown, start with smaller decisions.
- As you strengthen your intuitive abilities and begin to honor and follow your leads, you can delegate larger matters until you stop resisting and permit yourself to go with the flow. You will then move through life with the confidence that you’re always in the right place at the right time and taking the correct action.
Let intuition guide you in the divorce decision and beyond
Rely on your intuition to guide you as you end your relationship with your husband as it exists today. It will advise you whether to leave or stay. It will reveal to you the actions you need to take to repair your struggling marriage or will show you the way to the door.
Your intuition will become your most trusted adviser in every area of your life. Your inner sage will point the way to freedom and fulfillment. You will know in your heart the next steps to take.
Your inner sage will direct you to your ideal home, your next career or job or the training you need to reach your goals. Your intuition will introduce you to new people and will counsel you who needs to go. And just as important, it will intervene and nudge you when you’re heading the wrong way.
As you continue to activate your intuitive faculties, you will discover that they will always be working for you, even without your asking.
Do you trust your intuition? Have you listened to it as navigate the waters of marital turmoil?
Share your answers in the comments below!
Note: Excerpt adapted from the book Solve the Divorce Dilemma: Do You Keep Your Husband or Do You Post Him on Craigslist? by Sonia Frontera