“Hugs should be available at the medical stores 24/7, sometimes they are the best healers for almost everything.”
Let’s get it out there, yesterday I had a really sh*tty day. Honestly, those are few and far between, but Sunday rattled me. Wondering, where did this hostility come from? I really don’t want to b*tch, complain or rant, because in the grand scheme of things, my one bad day, might be someone else’s dream day.
However, I have ever right to feel upset and I am doing my best to shake it off. Basically, someone whom I love, said an absolutely hurtful and vindictive comment. Although, I can understand their frustration and hurt with a situation, it felt wrongfully directed at me, in a unneccesary hostile way. People who are hurting, sometimes don’t know how to deal with those emotions and resort to wanting to hurt those around them. All parties left feeling frustrated, hurt or perplexed.
It just made me really sad, but I know I have no control of how people act or feel, only how I will choose to not engage, walk away and not take it personally. That is all you can do. Set boundaries, give people space and move forward.
Although, I appear to have a pretty tough exterior, I am very sensitive. Commercials can make me cry. Steel Magnolias makes me cry. Even CrossFit makes me want to cry. As I stood there, in complete dismay, of the conversation that was unfolding, I could not help but break down and cry. Why do people thrive on anger and hatred? It doesn’t make any sense to me.
Life is too short for fighting. It is futile and foolish. Sadly, people cling to grudges, wasting their precious days filled with anger or hurt. Only, to later regret how they have chosen to live their lives.
I don’t want to ever be a person so consumed with anger, that it destroys relationships. No matter, how much this person may hate me, I still love them. However, this does still have an effect on me.
Yesterday sucked. Yes, I too have sucky days.
Jack was still en route from the mainland, so I came home to my empty condo, just wishing I had someone to hug me and reassure me that it would be better. Hugs seem to cure all sorrows or worries. All I wanted was a big, tight hug yesterday. It feels as if it has been forever, since I have felt someone’s arms wrapped around me.
I may be a grown woman, who has been able to hold her own for years, but damn, sometimes all I want is a hug.
Let’s Hug It Out Bitch!
I have always loved hugs and I am good at giving them. Even my little boy gives the best hugs. We are a family of huggers. When I meet people, I am a hugger, not a handshaker. Not sure if it is the southerner in me or just I really love that closeness shared with another human being. It is like a silent way of saying, “you’re safe with me”.
Maybe I got it from my Papa, because he is still the best hugger I have ever known.
With Jack gone for so long, me on vacation, most of my friends away for the holidays, I was in dire need of a hug.
Turns out, I wasn’t the only one with hugs on their mind yesterday. After talking to a few friends, I was reminded of how we all want to feel the carress, comfort and connection with another human being. Both men and women shared this common thread, of just wanting to hold another human being.
Well, I now have a pact with one of my friends, we may not have a significant other, but we will always be eachother’s HUG BUDDY. Not, like other “buddies” typical of most thirty somethings. You know what I am talking about. Nudge. Nudge. Wink. Wink. Just a person you can say, “Hey, can you just cuddle with me,” without worrying about crossing the line.
During my research and conversations on hugging, I discovered there are actual “Cuddle Cafes” in Japan, where you can pay to sleep next to a cute Japanese girl for $80 an hour. Instead of coffee served, these speciality shops, serve up cudding instead.
No hanky panky. Just napping, with the option to upgrade to having your back patted or staring into each others eyes, for a few extra Yen. What an interesting concept. Obviously there is a demand, if men and women, are willing to pay for a $13 five second hug.
You can even rent a boyfriend for a day in Japan, which would be a brilliant business in the United States. Do you know how many women, who would pay good money for that?
Japan’s Cuddle Cafes
Whether it is the act of holding someone in your arms or being the recepient of a loving embrace, a deep hug, where hearts are pressing together, can be healing and benefit our well being. So, hug it out!
According to the website MINDBODYGREEN , there are a multitude of benefits of Hugging Therapy:
“Hugs can instantly boost oxytocin levels, which heal feelings of loneliness, isolation, and anger.”
“Hugs strengthen the immune system. The gentle pressure on the sternum and the emotional charge this creates activates the Solar Plexus Chakra. This stimulates the thymus gland, which regulates and balances the body’s production of white blood cells, which keep you healthy and disease free.”
“The nurturing touch of a hug builds trust and a sense of safety. This helps with open and honest communication.”
Who Wouldn’t Want A Hug
Research in family therapy, suggests that we need four hugs a day for survival, eight hugs a day for maintenance and we need twelve hugs a day for growth. From infancy to our final days, we never outgrow the need for touch.
Next time, when you need a hug, don’t be afraid to ask for it. When you see someone in need of a hug, offer it freely, with open arms. Be plenty with your hugs and bring touch back into your life and into the lives of others. Hug your kid, hug your wife, hug your boyfriend, hug your mom and dad, hug a friend and give yourself a big hug too.
Hugs are healing. Hug everyone. Even the ones who may seem filled with anger and hatred, because they are the ones who need it most.
How many people did you hug it out with today?
Who gives the best hugs?
Déjà Vow says
I wonder if you primary love language is Touch. I’m a hugger and I found The Five Love Languages to be very enlightening. It helped me to understand myself much better.
And I’m hugging you right now!
Sweet Cicily says
@DejaVow You hit the nail on the head. I love that book! I read it many years ago. My primary love language are affirmations and physical touch. Sending a huge hug your way. *hugs* I always want to find out everyone’s love language.