Like any other romantic dreamer, I sit here thinking of romance, Mr Darcy of Pride and Prejudice, Noah from the notebook and I can’t help but wonder.
WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED?!?
Maybe I’m born in the wrong era but it seems romance and dating are gone, it’s a thing of the past. Ladies are no longer being picked up and greeted with a bunch of flowers or chocolates and taken for a nice romantic evening then dropped off back home with the anticipation of the first kiss?
The modern world of dating seems to be ” Fancy coming round to my place for a drink “
And we all know that basically translates into “I’ll get a bottle of wine, I’ll let you choose the background noise whilst I try to get into your knickers”
I mean Jesus!!!! Modern dating sucks!!!
Now don’t get me wrong, I think in some circumstances it’s acceptable to be invited round to a prospective romantic interests home and it still be a romantic and exciting evening, but these circumstances for me personally, are only when you have known each other for a while so you have the connection there already, but when you have only just met this person and the only idea they have for the first date is a bottle of wine at their place to me screams a lot of negatives, laziness, lack of respect, sense of control and most important that they just want a quick fumble.
Now I’m not saying this is just a guy thing either, but what’s going on people?!?! Modern dating seems to be ” Friends with benefits ” or ” Situationships ” and no longer dating and relationships, ” Friends with benefits ” and ” Situationships ” are becoming easier and easier to come across and yes, I get it, relationships are hard, dating can be hard too, but the excitement of dating, getting to know someone, seeing how they treat a lady, creating memories of how you met, recalling your first date, having your own little date spot, or remembering where you had your first kiss, all of this seems to be a thing of the past.
Why are we allowing this to be OK?!?
To me it seems like people are too lazy and don’t make the effort anymore, yet most ladies want to feel appreciated and special and when you are asked by a guy to go on a date you want them to make the effort and to make you feel those things and show that he is actually interested in you. I wouldn’t even care if it was a picnic in the park, a walk along the beach followed by a picnic going to a fair ground, ice skating, bowling, archery, anything guys, just something to show you have thought about it and interested and are making the effort to impress the lady with something that involves going having a good time.
It’s true, despite a failed marriage I’m always going to be a romantic at heart. First impressions count, bring your date their favourite chocolates or a little bouquet of flowers, even if you have been talking or have known each other for a while before hand this gesture is kind and thoughtful and starts the date off on the right foot and leaves a good lasting impression.
People don’t stop to realise how much someone can appreciate the small things, holding hands, walking side by side, a gentleman putting his coat around you when you are cold, these things tell you so much about a prospective partner. Kindness and manners are two of the most attractive traits any person can possess and let’s face it no one has ever been turned off by those things.
I’ve spoken to many female friends and not one has ever described their dream date as being invited over to the guys place for “a drink” or “a movie.” Inside every one of us we have romantic dreams and desires so why do people feel the need to suppress these and make do with inattentive men?
One of my friends described her dream date as going to an outdoor movie theatre to watch an old romantic classic movie, relaxing on a blanket sipping wine whilst getting to know each other.
Another was just simply a walk in the country followed by coffee beside the fireplace at country pub.
Both sound like my kind of thing.
So what’s my dream date? It’s simple, I’m not a fan of formality so something relaxed and fun where we can be invested in one another. A picnic near a lake or on the beach, where we relax and talk for hours and before we know it, the stars are twinkling in the night sky.
Old fashioned dating shouldn’t be labelled as such and it most definitely isn’t cheesy, at the very least it would bring nothing but a smile and appreciation. Those days need to make a comeback!
Asking me to come over to your place makes me think you had nothing better to do and just want to get into my knickers and get me into your bed! So if that’s your intentions move along, you are wasting my time unless you are Bradley Cooper that is.
I totally agree. I do feel like a coffee and a walk is an appropriate first date though and if that goes well, then go to a pub for a drink after.
For me, I want to meet the person and know that there is mutual interest befor spending the time and money on a formal date. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a cheapo. I have no problem taking a woman on a nice date. I just think in this new culture, it can add up pretty fast.
I think a nice walk in the park, or stroll along a river is a great first date. Someplace that isn’t overly noisy so you can talk and really find out if a second date is worth doing. Then the second date is where the effort comes in. The plannning, the fun event.
The last woman I dated we did just that. It was a great first date. Grabbed a coffee, went for a stroll, got to know each other and then went for a drink. When it was over, we kissed and went our own way. The second date was mini golf (which is a great way to get to know someone because it’s a slow thing and you can take your time) followed by a few drinks. Was a nice night.