Want to lose weight fast? Lose your other half! The rest will fall off.
The Divorce Diet
When I suddenly found myself a single mother with the prospect of divorce in front of me, along with a plethora of responsibilities piled on top of me, weeks after giving birth to our second child, I found that food and I no longer worked. I was so busy nourishing my baby and toddler that I forgot to nourish me too.
I was just too tired. I was normally around 135 pounds pre-pregnancy. In what seemed like days, even minutes after his departure when the reality of what I was facing set in, I found myself squarely at around 102 pounds and dropping.
My nerves were a frayed mess that resembled a well-worn rug that had hundreds of miles of foot traffic pounded into it. I had just had a C-section and a tubal ligation afterward, so I was really worn out and unwell.
Emotional shock can do a number on you.
But emotional shock under the auspices of a marital breakup that included infidelity, combined with post childbirth can throw you into a space you never knew existed.
But worst of all you are coping with a broken heart as well. This sadly has taken me decades to recover from. Overnight I lost all appetite for food of any kind. They say that a divorce diet is the fastest and most effective one on the planet and would put Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig to shame.
I am here to tell you that it was fast and furious all right! It was too fast though. My body had spent the previous nine months adapting and re-adapting as the baby grew and pushed on every organ in me. Then after giving birth, your body readjusts again like air being let out of a balloon.
But when you are faced with a trauma like I was, it takes a toll on your body with a vengeance. What you should be doing is nourishing yourself to cope with the breastfeeding and sleep deprivation as you slowly find your way back to a normal size.
But in my case, because he left in the middle of building our home, and after just having a baby and dealing with these two very big life changes, my appetite altogether disappeared, and I found that worry and stress was my meal of choice.
But then…I also discovered Peanut M&M’s.
Oh sure, I had eaten peanut M&M’s many times in my life. But this was a rediscovery and these beautiful little candies became the vice I so desperately needed. I was literally being nourished on peanut M&Ms! They were one of the only foods that stayed down. And yet, I kept losing weight.
I was literally a size 3 by the time my baby was 3 months old. I was 39 when I had her. The years went by and my new normal was being introduced to me as I watched my baby and toddler grow to where they are today, 20 and 24. I can see that I put my body through a lot over the years. Age has much to do with it no doubt.
Weeks after I had begun divorce proceedings and sold our family home and purchased a new one, I received a call from my work telling me that they were closing the Southern California office and that I would have to relocate to Northern California if I wanted to stay employed with them.
I was in the beginnings of divorce proceedings and child custody and my ex-husband would not approve of my moving the children away. So along with all that I had already endured, I found myself looking for a new job.
Happily, and because I have a good reputation in my industry, I received a call rather shortly asking me if I would be willing to interview for a company that had a remote office location near my home. I immediately said yes.
I was in no position to say no to anyone or anything.
I had just bought a house and I had a family raise. I interviewed and took the job. And all through this new phase, I started my nibbling on junk food to calm my nerves. Up and down my weight went through the chapters of our family.
My go to is always something sweet and when I feel the nerves of my bank balance dropping due to the cost of raising my family; not to mention the ever-present mortgage…I nibbled away.
This included then and still includes now, school tuitions, cars, cell phones, food, clothes and everything else that goes with this journey as you help your kids put one foot at a time on the road to their respective adult lives.
And now, I am 60. And that is hard to imagine. I have sacrificed so much of myself as the sole provider. The funny thing is that most of my friends and family are either currently or planning to retire. My accountant laughed when I asked him when he thought I could retire. He said, “My dear woman, you will need to work until at least 75. I’m so sorry. But you are so young at heart anyway. That shouldn’t be too hard.”
So, with the knowledge of this and with each moment that I am faced with the stresses of my responsibilities, there is always a bag of peanut M&M’s nearby to help me cope.