“As Harry puts it, men and women can never be friends because ‘the sex part always gets in the way.”
-When Harry Met Sally
Let’s get right into it, last night I went on a “non date” date last night, with a new friend I made this week. Earlier this week, a friend I made on the CrossFit Confessions page and now a Sweet Cicily reader, contacted me on Facebook. Mr. St. Louis CrossFitter asked me if I wanted to meet his Midwestern friend, who is stationed in the islands. Always open to expanding my circle, I said, “Sure. Why not?” You can never have too many friends.
I am a people person. I love company, connections and conversations.
After accepting the friend request, I was introduced to Mr. Missouri on Facebook. We hit it off instantly. Sharing similar personalities and conversation that flowed effortlessly, our newfound friendship began. We talked about EVERYTHING, from girl/guy dating advice, documentaries, Jeeps, careers, etc.
It is refreshing to have a conversation with a man who is NOT trying to get in your pants! Fellas, we are not blind, nor stupid, we know when the conversation literally goes “down south”. You think are slick, but you are not. I can see it coming from a 1,000 miles off, what are your sole intentions.
I get it that SEX is on ALL our brains. We are biologically wired to want SEX. Even the fellas with pure intentions. Even women, contrary to popular belief. However, it gets old, filtering the “just want to bang you” guys and the “good guys”.
Anyways, back to my new friend fella. While we were texting, I suggested, why don’t we Netflix the same movie, since we are movie buffs. So we did. Remember that scene in “When Harry Met Sally”, where they are watching Casablanca and talking on the phone at the same time? Well, I had my first When Harry Met Sally moment. It was fun. Plus, I didn’t feel so alone on Christmas.
When Mr. Missouri Met Sweet Cicily
I Could Only Find This Clip En Espanol… Yet We Can All Understand The Sentiments
Mr. Missouri and I watched the worst 80s movie, ate popcorn and inserted our comments through text messages. As our friend in St. Louis, who connected us, suggested I should ask him on a “no strings attached” friend date. With Jack on the mainland for the holidays and me being on vacation, I asked if Mr. Missouri wanted to go see the new Hunger Games movie with me. No pressure. Just friends. Brilliant.
Finally, yesterday, we met up to see the Hunger Games: Catching Fire. I grabbed the tickets, he grabbed the popcorn and we watched an AMAZING movie. Let me tell ya. I think non dates are fun and we should all give it a shot. Dating can be fun and it can also be awful. So take the word “date” out of the element and you remove expectations, pressure, games, who is paying for what and disappointment.
Just have fun with another human being. That is it.
So after the movie, we grabbed chicken wings and talked about our love lives. Swapping insider tips on the opposite sex. Me telling him, he needs to play a little hard to get with the girls. Him telling me, I need to give love a chance. Confessing secret crushes, heartaches and life experiences.
You know you are comfortable around someone, when you both belt out QUEEN’s Bohemian Rhapsody at the top of your lungs. Who doesn’t like to reeanact the scene from Wayne’s World? It is being like a kid again.
We ended our evening, sitting on the beach, as the tourists strolled the shores of Waikiki, looking at the constellations, unveiling truths and inspiring one another that the RIGHT person is waiting for each of us out there.
Everyone we encounter in our lives is a teacher and provides a lesson in life. Mr. Missouri was a reminder to me, that there are men left in the world, who are not douche bags and just want to find love, just as much as I want to find love.
I am grateful for meeting this person, by random chance and having the fortune to call a friend. When life presents you with opportunities, grab them and gain from them. You never know, you too might have your own movie moment…..
Do you think men and women can just be friends?
How did you meet your best friend?
With Much Aloha,