We all would love a perfect relationship but life isn’t perfect. If your man seems too good to be true, then he probably is too good to be true.
Do you think your new man is “perfect”?
Here are 8 basic signs that you need to remember just in case he is too good to be true.
1. He’s extra attentive and charming. When I met my ex we worked together. I was miserable in my marriage and ending it. I felt unloved, unwanted and my self-esteem was low. I was ripe for the picking. Along came my charming co-worker to rescue me. He said my ex was an idiot for not paying more attention to me. The right guy would always take care of a woman like me. I was perfect and he would prove it to me. He seemed so together and successful and I was enamored by his charm. True love had blossomed. Guys like this will shower you with attention and compliments even when you know they aren’t true. Hidden underneath his modest sincerity is an inflated ego that will eventually be revealed.
2. He has a lack of connection to his past. He talked a good game about his childhood and his family and we did attend a few gatherings but he didn’t have a real connection to anyone. We were there to pose for pictures and appear happy. He was trying to prove something rather than participate in the occasion. And his family rarely came to visit us. If they did stop by it was brief and cold. When they stopped visiting all together he said it was their loss and he didn’t care if he ever saw them again. Big red flag but I took his side and made myself believe that he was still perfect and his family was a bunch of crazies. That bunch of crazies still gets together and they no longer invite him. Hmmm… If your man lacks family ties you need to find out why. Don’t just take his word for it. Lack of family connection doesn’t make for good future bonding with your family or a family you may start together.
3. He plays the victim. This is a big one and my ex was a pro. He had me believing that all his ex’s live in crazy bitch town. Worse than that he convinced me that all his business deals went south were because of every excuse except for the truth. He’s a con man. In reality, every word out of his mouth is a lie. He lied to his former women and he lied to every person that he’s ever done business with. If your man is misunderstood and you think it’s your duty to protect him and shelter him from his past storms then take a step back and reevaluate everything he told you. Ask him again and see if his story is the same. Check with people that know his ex. See what kind of business deals he had. Bad things happen to good people but when someone is always the victim something else is going on.
4. He wants to spend ALL of his time with you. At first, I couldn’t believe his handsome, interesting, funny guy wanted to spend every minute of the day with me. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. We went shopping, out to dinner, played golf and just hung out at home and we never tired of each other. RED FLAG! No man is really like this. Heck, no woman is like this. We need some time apart. If your man wants you all to himself he has a sinister agenda.
5. He is a parasite and a freeloader. Ouch, that’s harsh but guys who come on strong and move too fast aren’t really your soul mate. It’s possible that you are dating a sociopath. If you are, he isn’t experiencing the emotions that you are. He isn’t actually having emotions because he isn’t able to. He is mimicking yours. He is mirroring you. You will think you have so much in common and feel like you’ve known him for years. What’s really happening is that you have everything he needs right now and he is pretending to be everything you’re looking for. If you need some reassurance, test him. Take him someplace you don’t like but pretend it’s your favorite place on earth. See if he continues to say what he thinks you want to hear. Chances are he will.
6. He socially isolates you. This is so sad because you don’t see it coming. After 14 years of marriage, I realized that I would leave if I could but I had nowhere to go. I had no money to go with and no one to go to. A sociopath will come on strong and will do anything to keep you from spending time with others who are important to you. He will keep you from hobbies and work. He feels threatened by others who may influence you. This makes it difficult for you to leave. You are dependent on him. If you are spending less time with people that were close to you it’s a danger sign. If you attempt to revive your past relationships you will find that he becomes angry and over dramatic. Sociopaths are always dramatic. They are storytellers and love to be the center of attention. They are charming and smooth but also manipulative and deceptive. If there’s no drama they create it.
7. He has no long-term goals. If he is too good to be true, it’s very likely that he will change jobs frequently. Most sociopaths can’t hold down a job for long because they do not like routine or being told what to do. They think that work is beneath them. They do not set goals. They work hard for themselves and live for daily drama. They don’t have a concept of long-term success. They may promise to change but they are not able to. Most are extremely immature. They don’t learn from their mistakes and are very selfish. They will try to make you think they are doing everything for you or for “us” when in actuality their world revolves around them alone.
8. He will always blame someone else. This was the hardest part for me. During our long-term relationship, I always had his back. I believed all his lies and when I shockingly found out the truth I was devastated. I learned that a sociopath always wears a mask. When caught they go into meltdown. They have no shame and no remorse. They quickly turn into a monster that you have never before encountered. There will be no accounting for their actions. You may even see signs of insanity. They have no empathy for you. Your perfect man will blame someone else and something else. He will never admit he is wrong. He will leave you and ignore you and move on to his next victim.
Wow, that went from Prince Charming to the Grim Reaper in 8 signs fast. But it’s something every woman should be aware of. You’ve all heard the saying: if something seems too good to be true it probably is. I’m adding this – if the man you are dating seems too good to be true, he’s not good for you. Happy Hunting Ladies.