Dating – a right of passage for teenagers, college students, the newly single regardless of age, and even octogenarians. But not married people, you can’t “date” a married man!
It’s a simple concept. One unattached person meets up with another unattached person and the two spend time together in an activity mutually agreed upon by both parties.
The end result is different for everyone. Another date. Sex. A lasting relationship. Ignored phone calls and text messages. What happens next often depends on who had fun (or didn’t) on any previous dates. You might get married or you might wonder why you keep going back to those dating websites. Either way, something happens and you move forward with your life.
That doesn’t happen when you’re with a married man. You can’t “date” them because they aren’t unattached and free to enter a new relationship.
Anyone claiming to “date” a married man is wrong on so many levels.
You’re helping a married man cheat and lie to his spouse. If you didn’t know he was married, any unhappiness, angst, or betrayal on the part of his wife wouldn’t be your fault. But you do know and that makes you a liar and a cheat, too. Neither of you is trustworthy.
You’re not saving him from a bad marriage. You’re contributing to it. He doesn’t have to be responsible for dealing with his own feelings in his marriage. He doesn’t have to communicate with his spouse. He doesn’t have to honor his vows. He’s got you – on the side.
The chances are good that he’ll cheat on you too. Maybe you convince him to leave his wife – or he convinces himself that the grass really is greener with you. You’ve chosen a man who’s proved he’s willing to lie and cheat to have what he wants. What will you do when it’s not you he wants anymore?
You’re cheating yourself out of the hope of a happy, healthy relationship. A married man unwilling to leave his wife while he’s “dating” you means it’s a hopeless situation. There is no happy ending. There is no forever. Even if you don’t want to get married again, date someone who’s actually available so you can make that decision for yourself.
You will never be the center of his world. His obligations to his wife and family are always going to come first. And if they don’t, you might want to really think about what kind of man he is. Christmas, Thanksgiving, holiday weekends, family vacations – you won’t have those moments with him unless he lies to his wife. He might lie about a lot of things, but few men will lie well enough to get out of a family holiday.
I can think of a few reasons why you think a married man is a better option.
- Fear of commitment. Your fear, not his. He committed already. Remember? He’s married!
- Fear of being hurt. If you know the relationship can only be physical, you think you won’t get hurt by it. Try again. Eventually, your feelings will be involved – and you will get hurt.
- A belief that you don’t deserve better. Honey, we need to work on your self-esteem issues, and frankly being alone is always better than “dating” a liar and a cheat.
- Thinking you aren’t hurting anyone. Either he’s fed you lies about how his wife doesn’t care or doesn’t love him anymore, or he’s so callous as not to care how she feels. No matter how bad their marriage is, when (not if) she finds out, she will be hurt. And if there are children involved, it’s even worse.
- Eliminating the hassle of a committed relationship. Actually, you’re inviting a hassle – in the form of a pissed off wife who may or may not have a crazy streak a mile wide.
Here’s the deal…
You deserve better than a man who is too afraid of being alone or the fallout of a divorce to leave his wife if he’s so unhappy.
You deserve better than to “date” a liar and a cheat.
Real love doesn’t purposely cause pain. Real love lifts people up and makes them better. Do you really think he loves you? Once upon a time, he said he loved his wife, too. There’s a good chance he told her that last night before they went to bed and this morning before he went to work.
No, you’re not “dating” him if he’s married. You’re helping him lie and cheat which makes you equally dishonest. It’s not healthy, and it will not end well.
FAQs About ‘Dating’ Married Men:
Should single women date a married man?
By no means a single woman should date a married man. Dating is for teenagers, college students, and single men and women regardless of their age.
What is the concept of dating?
The concept of dating relates to mutually agreed interaction between two single people based on their interest to get to know each other more. Dating is that seed from which romance, love and relationships sprout.
What can I expect after a date?
You can expect another date, sex or even rejection after a date. The outcome of a date depends on how the two of you got along with each other; developed liking for each other or not; had fun or not and whether or not you look forward to seeing each other again.
Is dating married men wrong?
Dating married men is morally, ethically and religiously wrong. You should not be dating a man who is married to another woman even if he says he is going to leave her soon. Wait for him to put his money where his mouth is if he claims to be in love with you.
Can I be blamed for unknowingly dating a married man?
You are not to be blamed if the man you were dating kept the fact from you that he is married.
Can I date a man going through a bad marriage?
You will end up complicating matters more by dating a man going through a bad marriage. He may feel that he does not need to either communicate or honor his commitment with his wife because he has you on the side.
Will a married man cheat on me if he cheats on his wife?
It will be naive to think that a man, who cheated his wife for you, will not cheat you for another woman. A man who is willing to lie and cheat to have what he wants will repeat it whenever he finds an opportunity.
Will a married man prefer his date over his family?
You shouldn’t believe that a married man would prefer you over his family—even when he claims to be madly in love with you. His priority will always be his family.
Do single women date married men out of fear of commitment?
Single women who are afraid of commitment do date married men. Low self-esteem, a belief you don’t deserve better, and that you are not hurting anyone because of this relationship are some of the reasons why single women date married men.
More from DivorcedMoms
- 5 Important Things Every Couple Should Know About Cheating
- Infidelity, A Three-Way Collision Waiting To Happen
- 5 Reasons To Tell Your Friend She Is Being Cheated On
- Dear Adulterer: 9 Truths About You And Your Infidelity