Temptation /temp-tey-shun/ – noun 1. The act of tempting; enticement or allurement. 2. Something that tempts, entices, or allures. 3. The fact or state of being tempted, especially to evil.
Since we heard the story of Adam and Eve for the first time, we have been told that temptation would be the reason for our self-destruction; yet, through our entire childhood no one said wanting what we want would one day become our temptation.
Since the day Katie turned one year of age, there has been the flavorful-ness of ice cream and the aroma of cake baking every year to celebrate her life. Family and friends would come over to watch Katie stick her hand deep into the side of the cake and smear it all over her face. Ice cream and cake covers Katie’s new birthday outfit.
Following Katie’s birthday comes Christmas and Katie has boxes of Barbie dolls and clothes under a tree looming with colorful lights and shiny, sparkling ornaments. Little Johnny down the street experiences the same life each year as Katie except he gets a long red fire engine with the t-shirt to match. Similarly, they play within the realm of their imagination.
What happens when the gifts stop coming in and the smell of fresh cake fades away? What do we do? As growing kids, we begin to find other things that provide the same feeling of having ice cream and cake to continue the gratification of what feels good. We become more adamant about our likes and dislikes; and no one can sway us from that. Then relationships happen and they should meet the same guidelines of ice cream and cake.
What does ice cream and cake have to do with the direction of your relationship?
During college, the true freedom of fabricated independence with no one to answer to becomes our medical marijuana. The parties, trips out of town, skipping class for a week, and leaving our rooms junky replace class scheduling priorities as our parent’s iron- dictatorship program becomes mute; and the want to be in a relationship or relationships goes without question. Someone may be pissed but no one will question you doing you. If they do question it, we drop those friends or we shun the topic of our actions all together.
So Katie is sitting in the library studying for her English lit class and she gets approached. It’s Johnny, who goes by John now. He’s a ladies man and recognizes Katie’s new found beauty and physique. Katie likes to be fashionable and Barbie-like while John likes women, booze and cars.
John and Katie start dating, graduate, get married and have kids fully aware of the other person’s vices or temptations.
Ten years after falling in love, Katie and John continue to have the same fights over the spending habits of Katie, over who will take care of the kids, and over John’s drinking and women problems.
“Ninety-nine problems but a B*tch ain’t one’’.
The inevitable happens and they get a divorce. Neither Katie nor John can go another day living under the same roof with the person they took a vow of love to the end of time. John stayed out late and became an alcoholic. Katie wasn’t being recognized by John so she became a mall rat trying to find clothes that gets John’s attention. It doesn’t get his attention but it gets the attention of the guy in the other cubicle.
She then chooses infidelity. Both had their own wants and needs, which were dormant when they got married, but resurfaced when their partner could not fulfill the void. While married, the things they normally wanted to do affected the other person, so personal wants became personal temptations.
Are temptations of society stronger than love? All of our lives we have had the freedom to have our ice cream and cake whenever we so desired. And eat it. Nothing stopped us from getting what we wanted. Either someone fed it to us or we had the freedom to go after it ourselves.
Many have never experienced love until their mid- to late twenties but have always done what they wanted to do within the scope of our parent’s regimen. Some have never experienced love; but the desire to have what was so desired was always prevalent while temptation becomes the curse word that tells us not to go after wants. In this time of individualism, where we have the option to not follow the religion our parents followed, not go to college, or not eat our vegetables, we still go for what love can do for our souls.
Can love and temptation coexist? If temptation was eliminated, wouldn’t it be a free for all going after wants and desires, gorging on self-satisfaction? If love were eliminated, wouldn’t hoarding of consumed junk become the norm when trying to fulfill the need for human touch? We spend our entire lives trying to be heard; then, we experience total freedom only to get married and lose who we are while hiding behind temptation. Sure, too much of anything is bad for us; but, too little of anything will slit our wrist.
Maybe the only way love and temptation can coexist is to allow balance between the two. If a woman can buy 200 pair of shoes, 100 pair of jeans, and 50 purses, should men have their outlets that provide gratification? Who says one vice is worse than the other. Could it be a no holds bar relationship or marriage?
No matter how you eat the ice cream or bake the cake, we want what we want when we want it and it may not always coincide with the wants of the person we love and could possibly become detrimental to the core of the family. Can our partner follow an “accept me for me” methodology no matter what the vice is? I’m sure we all feel guilty getting what we want and guilty giving up what we want for the love of someone else.