The womanizer, he may be good but, he isn’t good for you!
Now that you’ve put the legal and emotional fallout of your divorce behind you, you’ve got a new relationship on your mind. Maybe you want something casual, maybe you want something serious. Here is the thing, whatever it is you want, you want to be in control, not fall too hard and steer that new relationship ship in the wrong direction.
How is that done safely without the fear of dating a womanizer or playa? The last thing you need after divorce is to find yourself in another relationship that keeps you tied up in knots over the shenanigans of a man.
When dating after divorce it’s best to keep a level head and not let just anyone sweep you off your feet. To avoid further heartbreak in your life, be very discerning when it comes to the men you choose to date. And, stay away from a womanizer!
By definition, a womanizer is a man who pursues casual sexual relationships with multiple women. You may be thinking, I’m safe, I don’t have casual sexual relationships. If so, what you’re failing to understand is, a womanizer will groom you, he will weasel his way into your head and heart just to bed you. Once he is there he is bedding you AND other women too.
After you’ve become attached and before you know what’s happened, you’ll discover, too late, that you’ve been taken in by a man whose only interest was sex with you.
How do you keep from being taken in by a womanizer?
Here are 6 signs that will tell you if a man is a womanizer.
1. He has too many friends who are women.
A womanizer will often have what seems like an excessive number of friends who are women. Does he talk a lot about women friends? Does he have 500 friends on Facebook and 90 percent are women? When you two are out and about is he constantly running into women he knows?
He has either slept with those women or has them on his list of women he wants to sleep with. Tread lightly with this guy!
2. He keeps an odd date schedule.
You enjoy time spent with him but, it may only be for an hour in the middle of the day or a couple of hours late in the evening. A man who is juggling a lot of women keeps a strange date calendar because he is trying to fit so many of you into his days and evenings.
And, once you two have become intimate “dates” turn into booty calls. If you’re dating a man who was perfect, to begin with, but ends up only being interested in sex and taking off afterward, you’ve attached yourself to a womanizer.
3. He changes after you two have sex.
After your first intimate encounter, he goes from the guy who called and texted you every day to the guy you hear from once a week. You are smart enough to realize you’ve been played but, when you confront him he reverts to the guy who calls and texts every day.
This is his game, he will “hook, line and sink” you as often as he must just to keep you on the line sexually. Don’t make excuses for this man. Don’t sell your own worth as a woman short. You don’t want a man who is only interested in having sex with you!
4. He is a career bachelor.
A career bachelor is a career bachelor because he isn’t interested in a committed relationship. A serious, committed relationship will close the door to all the women out there he thinks he needs to bed. Online dating sites are riddled with womanizers.
Their profiles say things like, I’m looking for my happily ever after, or I’m serious about getting serious.” But, these are guys who’ve had a running membership on Match.com for five years. If you meet a man through an online dating site, ask him if he purchased a monthly membership or a yearly membership. If his answer is yearly, he isn’t serious about getting serious. What he is doing is using the site as a smorgasbord of available, vulnerable women. He isn’t looking for commitment, he is looking for fun between the sheets.
5. You’ve not met his family or friends.
You aren’t going to meet his family and friends because there are too many of you for him to keep straight. Plus, he probably has decent family and friends who would take him to task for “dating” several women at once. The womanizer doesn’t conform with generally accepted standards of respectable or moral behavior. This man, although he has several women on the line attends family functions alone. His friends feel sorry for him because he never brings a woman around. He has you and everyone else fooled!
6. He seems too good to be true.
Instead of thanking your lucky stars listen to your gut. If someone seems too good to be true then, they ARE too good to be true.
You love how he smiles at you, holds your hand, kisses you sweetly on the cheek while whispering his adoration for you in your ear. He is beyond understanding, helpful and empathetic. He adores your kids and never complains about the time you must take up with them…because he has someone waiting in the wings if you aren’t available.
A womanizer is well versed at being who he thinks a woman needs him to be. He has spent years mimicking behaviors he knows will draw women in and keep them attached. He will easily infatuate you but don’t be stupid. Let him take his game somewhere else because if there is one thing divorce taught you, it’s how not to be taken in by the wrong man ever again.
If you want a relationship that will work, with the right man, you must value yourself too much to fall for any man before he has proven himself worthy of your affections. That is how you avoid a womanizer!
A womanizer is a manipulator. They can appear to commit to a relationship, even marriage, but it is only a means to an end. They do not change and they become the cheaters that destroy the self-esteem in those they’ve manipulated, demolish their families, and often the financial health of the family. If you are in a “relationship” with a man who has nothing but lifelong bachelor friends, along with some of the characteristics above, there’s a good chance that he still still sees himself in that light and always will.