During your divorce, it’s often hard to laugh, to give a full belly laugh out loud.
But be warned, the many, crazy things your soon-to-be ex-husband says, in his half-demented divorcing mind, will come back to haunt you. Haunt you with laughter, that is! Yes, this is even more true if your ex-husband, or soon-to-be ex-husband is narcissistic. His narcissism, his pure self-centred behaviour, causes him to air the most inane statements. These statements will often be so illogical, so obviously incoherent, that you will be forced to laugh. Out loud.
These statements will stick in your mind and are destined to become the fodder of laughs with girlfriends, over wine and dinners.
How do I know? Well. Let me share some of the crazy comments my ex-husband, he of narcissistic bent, made during our divorce. I promise you, they are crazy, they are crazy illogical, but they are also crazy funny.
1. I’ll always love you.
Yes, that’s the funniest of them all. “I’ll always love you” he texts and emails while simultaneously closing bank accounts, hiding savings,refusing to pay bills and battling over child support and financial settlements. I mean, we always screw the people we love, right?
You have to laugh, simply because the statement is glaringly, obviously untrue. It’s part of the fabric of the story that he weaves for himself, as the unrequited, mistreated lover. And then he hooks up with another woman, so no one believes his story. Except himself. You gotta laugh!
2. I want to be your friend but please don’t ask me for money.
This crazy statement still cracks me up. Because friends never help each other out, financially or otherwise? And yet he believes that what he is saying makes sense. In some weird, warped way.
My friends and I joke about this often.
“Hey, let’s be friends, but I ain’t here for you!”
“Don’t buy me coffee… You can’t spend money on a friend!”
“Hey, can we stop being friends so I can borrow some money?”
Yep. He’s crazy. But funny!
3. Here’s why. 62 things you did wrong.
My favourite email. My favourite comment. I mean, only 62 things?? Come on, I am sure you can think of more! I laugh and make up my own list of possible items he could add.
Seriously, 62 things is hilarious. Ludicrous but hilarious.
4. It’s just my male mind.
Now this is the biggest laugh of all. All actions and disagreements and disputes during the divorce period were attributed to differences between his male mind and my female mind. Puh-leeze! I act rationally and yet I am told I am not seeing things right, I need to see it from his male mind? Unless male minds are disordered and self-centred, I think this is a line straight out of a 1960s sit-com. “Let the men sort this out, dear. You go back to your baking.”
That image alone is enough to make me guffaw….And die laughing.
5. I wish you and the kids well in the future.
I’ve saved the best for last. Simply because this comment came at the end of a long, long email, berating his children, refusing financial help, describing the bills he would not longer pay on behalf of the children. Wiping his hands clean of us but wishing us well. Seemingly oblivious to the paradox here. So oblivious that it’s comical. The stuff of which comics and caricatures are made, laughter and jokes.
So, be warned. Divorce comes with it’s own language, it’s own humour. And, to be honest, it is best to keep a sense of humour. You will look back and laugh at some of the crazy, weird, unbelievably funny things your ex-husband said. And you will be glad that you no longer have to navigate such comments.
Your laughter will be borne of relief and freedom. And that’s a good thing!
Laugh, share with your girlfriends, giggle over drinks. Who knows? Your ex’s crazy “I can’t believe he said that!” comments could be fodder for a stand up comedy routine!
For more divorce advice and information from Karen Covy, go to http://karencovy.com
Pre-Divorce: Me, fed up with always having to do all the work as always, decided to let him file the paperwork. So I preceded to call his gf at the time and tell her exactly that; that I wasn’t goiong to file, he would have to. Needless to say this prompted a firestorm of phone calls, etc. But the caveat was him trying to convince me to follow through so that “Who knows? Maybe in the future we will get married again.” Seriously? I need to divorce you in the hopes that we will get remarried? – True story, you can’t make this stuff up.
Oh my god! My husband told me the same thing. I asked him, “Why? Why I would want to marry you again?” Needless to say he was not happy!
Oh my god! My husband told me the same thing. I asked him, “Why? Why I would want to marry you again?” Needless to say he was not happy!
Oh my god! My husband told me the same thing. I asked him, “Why? Why I would want to marry you again?” Needless to say he was not happy!
I think people in the middle of a divorce can have strange emotions and behaviors they never would in normal circumstances. If someone is breaking their vows and deserting their spouse, making cruelty out to be a joke is an example. If you are the one being deserted, sometimes saying things you don’t really mean like “I’ll always love you” can somehow come out. Eventually things go back to normal though, for everyone else.