Why is it that when a man turns 40 or 50, all he wants is a 25 or 30 year old, but when it comes to women over 40 or 50 – there are no men to date except the 30 year olds? Men want young, succulent women when they’re older, but we as mature women know what we want in a real relationship – we have to deal with younger men instead of men our own age. Sometimes it’s not a bad thing but its’ acceptable for an older man to date a young woman in her 20’s and 30’s and feel comfortable, and a woman in her 40’s and 50’s to date a younger man, its either not acceptable or she’s a COUGAR…
Men in their 40’s and 50’s date women date women that are 20 and 30 to feel comfortable about themselves for having a trophy wife, which leaves a gap in the dating arena of ‘Fabulous Mature Women’ not finding a mature mate. So where did all the mature single men go? They either date younger women or they die younger earlier.
Sometimes, it’s a reality that is unfair to ‘good women’ looking for a ‘good man’ as a long term companion, it just requires a shift in strategize thinking to look at the issue differently. Ask yourself “who thinks I’m sexy? Who thinks I’m hot?” Is it the much older or the much younger men? More than likely it’s both – the much older thinks women in the 40’s and 50’s are sexy, while the much younger think women in their 40’s and 50’s are hot. For most women, including myself –we don’t wear our years in dowdy dresses; it’s the way we act, and the way we live our lives. We are vibrant mature women that have a zest for life and want a mature minded companion.
How old does a woman have to be in order to find a decent mature companion? And where is she supposed to find this decent mature companion? Consider the principles from a business perspective; sell what people want to buy. But what if that doesn’t work? I have known people that have went on dates and because they weren’t 20 or 30, they’re dates returned the purchase before finding out what’s within that person – they didn’t find out the good in that person or what that person could become in their lives – these men judged what could possibly become something real and memorable because of an age factor.
There is a rule that state dividing your age in half and add seven is a socially acceptable minimum date age to feel free with. Does the rule work for women? NO… the rule works better for men, but fall short because of the age-related preferences of women feeling comfortable dating 29 year old men – which does not reflect the social preferences and standards of women. Women over 40 think that a man five years younger or older is acceptable for a relationship and the ages seem to fit men also. How well does this rule reflect what society has deemed an unacceptable discrepancy? It doesn’t… the fact is men want something younger or eye candy that is perky, and drama filled. Whereas, a mature woman knows what she want as far as a relationship, they know how to make their partner feel worthy, and they’re independent enough to hold their own in any situation. Just because a mature woman is beyond her prime doesn’t mean she is obsolete, and just because the relationships failed doesn’t mean they were the right relationship to begin with.
The other day as I was flipping through the stations on television, I came across a 2003 movie that is perfect for this article ‘Something’s Gotta Give’ with Diane Keaton, Jack Nicholson, and Keanu Reeves. Jack’s character is dating Diane’s 20 something daughter and after a Viagra overload, he has to be taken to the hospital, in which Keanu Reeves’ character is smitten with Diane’s character which now has to watch Jack’s character at her home to recuperate. Jack’s character want to start a relationship with Diane’s character for the weekend, but he keep going back to his old ways of dating 20 something year olds – until he finally comes to his senses and realize that this woman that is over 40 is vibrant, don’t have to be taught, and may be out of his league. Do men think that women over 40 and 50 are out of their league or is it just the trophy wife syndrome?
As women, we have to pick and choose who to bring into our lives and it becomes har when the choosing become slim – because you’re over 40. Yes we are alone, but not lonely when it comes to finding a good relationship. In this internet dating world, it’s also becomes hopeless when you think you’ve found a match and he wants a younger woman, or sex before he moves on to the next conquest. Some women might be missing out on finding love because they feel bruised and rejected, or a lack of confidence because of a previous relationship – we have to keep dating until there is a match, older or younger, or be blissfully happy being by yourself. It doesn’t mean you have to settle, but if you want a wonderful person in your life – it shouldn’t matter about the age factor.
That’s nice, I personally am a 52yr lonely dumped woman, with nothing. No redeeming qualities wharsoever. Over the course of my life, i had several long term boyfriends who dumped me, because well, they found someone better. Maybe soneone they could consider marrying and having kids with. One boyfriend, of 8 yrs said that the worst possible outcome in his life would be married to me with children. This was after 8 yrs and my foolishly taking him back after he cheated once. Obviously, I could give no answer to such a statement. However, i eventually married a man 18 yrs my junior. I felt very uneasy about the age gap, but we realky did same to have the same viewpoints, morals, ambitions, attitudes etc. It was a miracle we met in the first place. A bizarre coincidence, from a one time chance meeting when he was 21/2yrs old , he had a lasting memory of me. I know now it was probably because i was the only person who showed him kindness. Whatever, we got married some 25 yrs later. We built a life , or rather I built a life. I paid for everything whilst he supposedly was setting up a business. Alas, he had a double life which i guess ibwas financing. Eventually i found out about the girls and the drugs, and most hurtfully the fact he told no one at all about our marriage. Not his family, friends, anyone. Worse still, i discovered he had illicit photos hecwas taking of women in the street, and other unsavoury stuff. It felt like a knife in my heart, the more i discovered. Of course a few months after hecwent , he called wishing another go at our marriage but it turned out he really was just figuring out if the authorities were after him or anything. It became clear, the he was living as a fugitive not saying where he was , making fakse promises and so on. 9 months later he reappeared with a young woman half my age and over the last few years he has gradually made her into me. A young me, in looks anyway. Meanwhile he is doing his best to look young, by being clean shaving, keeping slim etc.
I am divorcing him- it isn’t easy as we married in a non english country so documents have had to be translated. I have git him to pay for the divorce. I guess he is happy. As for me, I Am old, obsolete, broken damaged goods. Childless and worthless. I don’t even go out in daylight as i don’t wish to be seen. I am a ghost. I am no one. I Exist but i don’t live. I have no life. I do not burden friends. No one likes a single or divorced woman, as otger women see you as a threat. As if ! who would be interested in their old paunchy bald men. I don’t look at any men, for i know there are no good men. At this age there can only be the rotten apples at the bottom of the barrel or worse, the divorced with children, who only want a woman for sex and to feed their children when they have them for visits. So really there is no point in looking. I have no point in living, as i don’t want to spend the next 40 yrs in this hell. This is a world for couples and families, rejects like me don’t belong anywhere. Useless, worthless ghosts in a world of happy smiley families.
I feel the same way but for a different reason. I had a wonderful husband for almost 20 years. He died of cancer. I buried him on our 20th anniversary 2 years ago. I am still absolutely devastated. 55 years old and too sick to hold a job and not sick enough for disability. I’m barely surviving. Our daughter instead of being there for me like her father wanted… moved away with some man and I rarely hear from her. No friends, no family. I am 24/7 alone. No man would want a woman my age with health problems and financial troubles, so my life is over. I’m only here to take care of my animals. When they die I’m ending the whole shitty mess. Why wasn’t I ever told how awful life would be? I don’t even remember what happy felt like. I feel like you. A zombie ghost that doesn’t belong anywhere.