Under the law, when parents divorce or separate, both parents can be responsible for the cost of their child’s dental care, including braces. As a result, very often, divorcing parents enter into a written agreement stating how much each will contribute, usually in the form of a percentage.
In addition, or in other cases, there may be a Court Order or Judgment of Divorce which states that Dad will pay a specific percentage of the cost of braces. Unfortunately, all too often, many Dads don’t pay their percentage, leaving Moms to scramble to get the funds, negotiate with the Orthodontist, or even stop taking their child for treatment all together.
Ultimately however, no matter what percentage Dad is required to pay to Mom, if only Mom has signed up the child for treatment, as a legal matter, only she is responsible for the cost of treatment to the Orthodontist, and she will have to later seek reimbursement from Dad. The Orthodontist has no legal obligation to uphold your Agreement or Court Order, nor any duty to get payment from your ex. Sadly as a result, the relationship between Mom and the Orthodontist may suffer, making what should be a wonderful experience for the child into a tense ordeal.
What can a mom do? What are her rights? How can she protect herself?
1. Moms, you must involve Dad in the process before you start! Do not think that just because your Agreement says he has to pay 50% that he will actually do so. There may be some other language that requires you to involve him which you may not even realize, but in any event, if you want to protect yourself, you must involve him as follows:
- Tell him your child needs braces (Yes, even if you think he already “knows”). Send him an email, text or letter stating that he or she needs braces and an approximate time frame of when this will happen. Do not say, “Johnny needs braces and he’s getting them tomorrow.”
- Tell him who the Orthodontist is and what the cost is.
- Schedule an Appointment with him and if you cannot stand to be with him or if you have an Order of Protection, have him make his own appointment to see the Orthodontist. Explain the situation to your Orthodontist.
- Provide any and all information that you receive as to payment and make sure that you are giving him timely notices of payments due.
2. Make sure that Dad signs the contract for the braces. As a legal matter Dad may owe you money for braces, but he will not owe the Orthodontist one cent if he does not have a contract with him.
3. Be clear that there is an actual legal obligation for Dad to pay and how much. Some Agreements may be poorly or vaguely drafted and not specify the words “braces” exactly or establish what percentage he has to pay. These things can be clarified or corrected but you must know what issue or problem you might have and you must know what your Agreement or Order specifically provides.
4. If Dad disagrees that your child needs braces, refuses to meet the Orthodontist or sign a contract then send him another email or letter documenting his disagreement or refusal and tell him you will take him to Court to enforce your right.
5. Take him to Court! If Dad is showing any resistance or not cooperating, you must not wait. Do not make the mistake of hurrying to sign your child up with the Orthodontist, paying for everything (or expecting your Orthodontist to only accept your payment) and then taking him to Court in the end.
My husbands ex wife spent $4000 on orthodontics for their daughter without his knowledge. He just so happens to carry insurnance on this child that would cover $1500 of the cost which he was pretty sure she was aware of, since he makes sure she has insurance cards for health and dental coverage (which he’s not obiligated to carry, but does anyhow), however she claimed there was no insurance coverage for the child. AFTER the child got braces, 2 weeks later he gets a letter in the mail from court indicating that she’s sueing him for half the cost. He didn’t even know what was happening! We’re awaiting the ruling on the matter here in Ohio. I’m curious why a mother would spend $4000 and not say a single word to the child’s father and then expect him to just fork it out without having an opinion on the situation at all. I don’t believe the child needed the braces but only for cosmetic purposes, he would still be willing to pay if had known ahead of time. Any thoughts?
Kelly, did you and the father not notice the child was wearing braces? If you saw the child in braces you had to have known money was being spent on orthodontics so, why not communicate with the mother instead of waiting to hear from her? How can a father who has regular visitation not know his child has new braces? Unless, of course, the father doesn’t take advantage of spending time with his child. For some reason, this mother felt the need to go through the courts to get father to help. I’m guessing it’s because he doesn’t have a relationship with his daughter and mom has learned from past experience that if she is going to get money from him she will need to use the courts to do so.
Both my siblings had their own braces put on as adults. When did having a cosmetic procedure done become part of the divorce courts domain? Medically necessary I can see, however just because the teeth aren’t perfect should have no obligation to the other parent male or female. What’s next hair appointments,. Nails too also Please cosmetic.
Most orthodontics are not for cosmetic reasons. It isn’t about having perfect teeth. Crooked teeth cause problems as an adult…maybe the reason your adult siblings had to do something for themselves your parents wouldn’t do for them as children? Any parent who doesn’t feel it is their responsibility to make sure their child has healthy teeth is scum. Misaligned teeth can cause problems with their roots later in life. As parent’s it is our responsibility to give our children the opportunities, as adults to flourish and be successful. If you don’t get that, you shouldn’t be calling yourself a father. Seriously! What decent mother or father resents or doesn’t think he is responsible for their child’s dental health?
Perfectly said Jennifer! I’ve had to fight my ex on both of my son’s braces. It’s amazing what lawyers try to let their clients get away with. I have a text from him stating that his Lawyer advised him to pay his percentage and that’s what he was going to do. But now she emails me stating he refuses to pay for his court ordered portion! Surely the texts will hold up in court.
My ex went to the appointments with me and is required to pay 1/2. He wants to not pay me child support if he can be responsible for all the braces. Since I won’t agree to that, he tells her it’s “mom’s fault you aren’t getting braces” luckily I have a husband now that is willing to pay for the braces until we get to court for other matters next month that!
My dad is a jerk and he never helped my mother even once. I went to Carnegie Hall, a famous singing place bc i have singing capabilities, he never helped. Me and my mom notified him that i needed braces, and he decided to be a dumb a** (excuse my language)Now that i got my braces my mom has to pay ever single cent, because my dad never helped whatsoever.
Thank you so much for sharing your stories and advice. It’s funny how some people (including my ex) consider this an ‘optional’ or ‘cosmetic’ treatment. I notified my ex 9 months ago that our son would need braces and provided him with the Orthodontist name/address/phone number. He has not asked about his visits, called the Ortho or attempted to get second opinions during this time. I finally got a quote on the braces (and spacer) and sent it to Dad. He flipped out at the price and is now telling me that I am against our orders by following through and getting my son braces.
I’m worried he’s going to take me to court or retaliate in some way. I haven’t even spoken to him about payments, etc yet.
Am I in the wrong in any way?
Why don’t you take him to court? If your decree says that both are to make medical decisions and he refused to discuss the braces with you, he is the one in contempt, not you. Take him to court, request, in full, his portion of the braces and don’t worry about what he “might” do. What he is doing is considered medical neglect. Let him explain to a judge why he is neglecting his child’s medical need.
Rather than using the children to get back at the guy, why don’t you 1. inform 2. give him a chance to understand 3. and then, and only then, follow up with the legal stuff. Children grow up and resent being used this way. I am such a child and I don’t want to hear any justification about why my mother had to do what she had to do. If you hate men so much, stop being like them and getting into a pissing contest. The children are who come out the losers.
And what makes you think he wasn’t informed? My ex was informed 90 days before the braces went on. I sent him an email and the orthodontist office sent him a letter. He had ample time “understand” what was about to happen. What did he do when given the time and date the braces were to be put on and an opportunity to be at the dentist office? He pleads ignorance. “What do you mean braces?” “Why wasn’t I told he needed braces?” “You’re supposed to keep me informed!” Funny that he received the notices of date and time but not the notices of the upcoming braces. So, I took him to court when he didn’t pay his part. Here is the thing, though, my son didn’t know I took him to court. Neither of my sons know, to this date, that I was in and out of court with him for non-payment of medical bills, child support and every other aspect of our divorce decree. That wasn’t their worry, it was mine. The thing your mother didn’t have to do was share the details of her legal problems with her ex with you. You may want to ask her why she felt the need to make you apart of the drama because that is what damages children and causes resentment.