Today is my first court date!
Today is a Monday!!
I have a take home test due for class tonight. I am still working on that undergrad degree. I am on the 30-year off and on plan. I am on year 21.
I could not sleep last night. It could have been the coffee I nursed all day long or it could be anxiety. I had 5 million article ideas floating through my brain. Technology has given us text to speech, speech to text, but where is the ideas in mind to text app?
I set my alarm for 6:23 am yet hit snooze four times. Kiddo was sleeping so soundly. He had some kicking baby breath. Mental note – must really enforce the nighttime teeth brushing.
Kiddo goes to Montessori three days a week – Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Time to get this day started. Get up and get myself dressed. Found nicely folded shirt on floor in closet – score. Found some jeans that are wearable. Brush hair in ponytail and brush teeth. The Wifey is ready.
Kiddo is still asleep. So peaceful. Shame to disrupt him, but gotta stick to schedule today. Change diaper, put on socks, put on pants, and put on shoes – kiddo still asleep. I let him be and get his lunch ready. Left over pizza and snacks. Okay, time to wake him. Not a happy camper. Kiddo will have furry teeth today; he’s just not in mood.
Twenty minutes later we are out of the house. What happened to schedule? Give him breakfast in car, nope, not having it. He chooses his blanket over food today. Maybe chewing on the blanket will wipe some of the fur off his teeth. Awesome mom of the year award goes to…….
Thankfully drop off at school goes smoothly. THANK YOU!!! I don’t know if I could have handled a melt down today.
Coffee…. Too happy Starbucks employees should be forced to do the Hunger Games.
Rush back home to get ready for court. Thanks to the divorce diet crapola, not much in my closet fits. Pre-pregnancy weight was 145. During pregnancy I got up to 175. I am now 120 on a day I actually eat breakfast. People see me and say how good I look and ask what did I do. I say nothing. This is the utter truth. If you do not eat, you will lose weight, fact. It does not make me happy to see all the weight I have lost. It is a constant reminder of the state of my marriage. I am withering away just like my marriage and family.
Off to court I go. The car says I have 5 miles to go before I run out of gas. Ha…I have gotten it down to 0 before, so I know I am good to go. I find rock star parking and I think, “I hope this is not the highlight of my day.” There are 50 minutes left on meter, double score. I still add money to get the full two hours, just incase.
The courtroom is on third floor and I take stairs. I find bathroom and do make up to accentuate cover up bags under eyes. I check in and sit and wait. I text a friend saying, “Places to not meet a future mate – divorce court.” Pap shows up at 9:58 wearing jeans…. WTF!! Whatever.
Our last name gets called and we go into this conference room. Wait!!! What?!! We are not going before the judge today. Sh*t, I could have wore jean also. Blah, blah, blah…we are working with mediator blah, blah, blah, sworn financial statements, blah blah…visitation agreement, blah, blah blah, set divorce decree date. I will not cry. I WILL NOT CRY. I will not cry.
I leave without looking at Pap. Breathe, breathe, and breathe. Get to car and the tears are there, the overflowing of emotion. This is real. I have an actual date and time when I no longer will be married. I have an actual date for the start of a new chapter in my life. Nope, I will not cry. I text my mom the court date. She responds with an “OMG, on XX my divorce was finalized (same date as mine, different month)!!” This pisses me off. She wanted her divorce like people want to win the lottery. I do not want this divorce. I don’t respond and drive off to get gas.
It is 10:36 am. I head home to ball up in bed and cry work on take home test for class. How do I concentrate on schoolwork? Well, I must find a way.