Beginning: Picture in your mind what you want your world to look like without so much stress.Take a deep breath and rest your tired eyes and think of where you felt the most relaxed. See yourself in a place where you are safe and comfortable and you have moved your stress-ometer 40 shades down from that bright red of the feeling of impending emergency. Think about a place where there is no dread, no heightened sense of something wrong, no guilty feelings, and and all around feeling that all is well. Are you ready to imagine that place? If that idea is appealing then you may want to do the footwork it will take to begin to loosen the threads that are binding you and keeping you all knotted up inside.
Most smart people take pen to paper when they feel stressed and start making a list of the things that are bothering them. One way is to draw a line in the middle of the paper before you make your list or just fold the paper lengthwise so you’ll have another column. In the column on the left you get to list all the issues that are stressing you out. Many women say that there are too many things to do in a day and not enough time. Or is it a boss that is no fun to work for? Do you have one of those friends who is far too needy for your availability? An ex who won’t ever pick the kids up on time? A child who is not going to school? Take your concerns and write them down. On the other side of your gripe list, write down the opposite of that situation. In this column you have created your very own goals for the new year. All those stressors can be turned into goals in the swipe of your pen! The beauty is you can add new stressors every day and make new goals out of them each day too.
Middle: So now that you have your wish list of stress reducing goals for the new year, you will probably have to tell yourself what steps need to be taken to reach those goals. The source of our anxiety is often self inflicted. We worry ourselves to high blood pressure, overeating and over exercising… although I haven’t met too many people in that category lately. If you have told yourself you want to be a better parent, you may want to narrow down that goal to the opposites of how you act with your kids. If you get cross with them for too many things, your goal might be to cut in half your reaction to their mistakes in a negative vein. Many moms I talk to get their greatest stress attacks when they are trying to round up the kids to get somewhere. They find that if they are super prepared for the getting out of the house routine, things go smoother. If they allow toddlers toddling time, that is way more time than they really want to give them, they can loosen that stressed up, pent up feeling. Do not give up hope, things are getting a little better every day. If you let a friend in on your project, she may have some ideas for streamlining your to do list.
If any of the stressors have to do with others, here’s the big news flash. We can’t make anyone change, we can only change ourselves in relationship to the other person. So cross off anyone you are thinking you can change. Most people are sending out invitations for feedback on their bad behavior.
Did you know that Stress has no real health benefit to your life?
Going forward, we look at our list of goals to begin our relatively stress free life: We come to the
End: Do you see yourself warming up in a bubble bath with candles or do you envision you and the kids reading a book together?
Maybe it is just when you turn out the light at night and realize its been several hours since you made yourself worry about anything. You could have de-cluttered your bedroom, thrown out your old pictures or sat down for dinner for the first time in a week with your kids. Whatever the victory, give yourself 50 self esteem stickers, you deserve it!
How do you reduce divorce-related stress?
- Beating Back Those Big Bad Health Habits
- The Connection Between Physical Activity And Emotional Health
- Heart Disease: As a Single Mom, Are You Taking Care of Your Health?
- The Divorce Diet: 5 Feelings You Need To Curb After Divorce