A few weeks ago I shared Finding Your Inner Sex Goddess. We talked about our sensuality and using all of our senses to feel sexy again. Consider this to be Part II of that post because you’re sexy and you know it!
I recently read on Huffington Post that women are happier and feel sexier after divorce. The post begins with “There is something amazing and magical that happens when women divorce. They get beautiful. And they get horny.” I guess it’s something about leaving stale marital sex behind. Someone told me they compared their marital sex life to a bad one night stand. “Sorry, I couldn’t last…” Well, no reason now to put up with that kind of sex.
Below are some tips to get you going if your libido is on low drive:
Check out some erotic films: A couple of suggestions… 9 1/2 Weeks Mickey Rourke & Kim Basinger and Sex, Lies and Videotape with James Spader, Andie MacDowall are both good films to start with.
Invest is a few sex toys: After you indulge in some visual eroticism, make sure you have a trusted toy. If you’re not having fun with yourself then how is someone else going to? Don’t be shy. Post divorce is a great time to experiment not just with others but…well you get the idea.
If you don’t have a toy, get out there to the sex shops maybe with a friend. It’s a fun time and the people who work at these places are very helpful and non judgmental. I personally love the Kama Sutra products.
Their massage oils are edible and they come in delicious flavors (chocolate cinnamon anyone?). Anything you can think of you will find there.
Talk about sex: I’m no expert on this but I believe the dating process should include talking about sex. Why not? Instead of bitching about your ex on your date, try asking a few questions about his sex interests and experiences…it may reveal your compatibility in the bedroom before hopping in the sack.
Take yourself a lover: What were some of your hang ups during your marriage? Were there some things you wanted to try but were too self conscious to ask for? Finding yourself a lover you can be open with will change your sexual experience. No more bad ‘one night stand’ sex.
Be nice to yourself: Many women, myself included check ourselves in the mirror while getting dressed and find flaws or tell ourselves we need to lose weight. I challenge you (and me) to give a compliment every time we catch a glimpse of our naked bodies while dressing.
See if you can do this for a month straight and if it improves how you feel about your body. We have to work with what we’re given and we should make the most of it. We are imperfect and that is what makes us interesting. Praise instead of criticism will help you feel sexual.
I’m guilty of this too. Did you know that when I started this blog and the social media, I hated all pictures of myself? I need to take my own challenge! It’s time to be a sex goddess…
Liv BySurprise says
Lisa Thomson says
glad you enjoyed, Liv! 🙂
Lets keep it a secret! ! says
This advice made me feel much better I was feeling really guilty for even thinking about it. But, now I have a very different outlook on on it all. Especially after the I’ve put myself through!!!!!
lisa thomson says
Good to hear! Enjoy you beauty 🙂