Navigating a divorce is a heartbreaking event in a person’s life. In many ways, divorce is a kind of death. It marks the end of a dream and the life you thought you would have. You watch the picture you had of a beautiful life with someone you had invested a lot of emotions in turn into ashes.
And that’s not all; you still have to deal with the legal and financial issues that come with it. While everything around your divorce is enough to drive you crazy, maintaining a sober approach can save you a lot of pain.
Here are three things to avoid when getting divorced to make the process less stressful.
1. Don’t Use the Court to Get Back at Your Ex.
Before a couple or one of the parties decides to file for a divorce, the couple has likely gone through a time of infighting which breeds anger and resentment. In such a situation, you may feel like you want to use the court to make your partner pay for their mistakes. Most often, couples try inflicting pain on each other by prolonging fights over assets and child custody.
That may not be a good idea. While it may give you some level of satisfaction, using the court to get back at your partner will ultimately cost you more in terms of legal fees and emotions. Additionally, it can end up compounding stress on your children.
2. Don’t Put Your Children in the Middle
Divorce has a huge psychological impact on children, and it is always best to keep them out of it. A common mistake couples make when going through a divorce is bad-mouthing their soon-to-be-ex to their children in a bid to make them hate the other party. They were not a part of your problems, so they should not be a part of your divorce. The children need both of their parents, even if you are getting divorced.
Another common mistake people make when navigating a divorce is using their children as pawns. Unless the other party is not legally able to have custody of the kids, it is important not to make them the center of your tag of war. After all, “One of the court’s main concerns is to ensure that the aspects of the divorce involving the children, such as child support and child custody, are in the child(ren)’s best interest.” according to Connecticut divorce lawyer Matthew Dolan.
3. Don’t Engage in Every Battle
When going through a divorce, it is important to understand that not all battles are worth fighting; also, you will not win all the battles. Therefore, it is essential to determine what is worth fighting for and what should be let go.
The idea behind “division of property” in a divorce is to ensure that all the assets owned between you and your soon-to-be-ex are shared equitably. So try not to approach a divorce with a want-it-all attitude. Choosing your battles can save you a lot of stress and make the divorce much easier to navigate.
There are many other things you may need to avoid when going through a divorce. While you may feel like it’s your right to direct your divorce in the way you think best, it is always a good idea to listen to your attorney’s advice.