What makes you awesome? Have you ever sat down and thought about that? What characteristics about yourself make you a catch? If you can’t recognize those characteristics in yourself, it will be very hard for others to recognize them in you.
And furthermore, if you don’t know how valuable you are, you won’t be accurate in knowing the price that someone needs to pay for the right to be in your life.
When I first separated from my husband and I began the journey of finding myself, I always thought of it as wanting to be the kind of person that I wanted to attract. I am in no hurry whatsoever to find that person, but in the meantime, I still want to become the best me that I can.
Because at the end of the day, I want to model that kind of person in front of my daughter. I want to be proud of the “me” that I show to the world each day. There are some huge benefits to finding yourself before finding your next husband.
1. You get to know the real you. So many of us married young. We never got to know the real us outside of being a wife and a mother. Not knowing who you are, makes it impossible to know what you’re good at and what line of work you should be in, the kind of mother that you want to be, or the kind of person that you would be happy with. Finding yourself is the pre-requisite for the entire next phase of your life.
2. Once you get to know the real you, you will develop a new appreciation for yourself. We were created to be awesome. The minute you realize just how awesome, it will do wonders for boosting your self-esteem and self-worth. True confidence and acceptance of yourself will do nothing but enhance your life.
3. Self-esteem and self-worth are traits that your children will learn from you. Once you can recover emotionally from a divorce, you can recover financially, relationally etc. Once you learn to love yourself and force the world to either accept the real you or kick rocks, your kids will catch onto that attitude.
Instead of growing up to be people pleasers and adults that are emotionally needy, they will grow up with confidence and a willingness to take control of their destiny. Now those are the kinds of kids that I want to raise.
4. You attract who you are. People who don’t know who they are, are generally fragile, needy and unsure of themselves. We tend to attract who we are. We almost never notice it until after the train has wrecked and ran off the tracks in our failed relationships, but it’s true.
If we don’t spend time working on ourselves and ensuring that we are the person that we want to be, we will never be able to attract the person that we want to be with. That will leave us doomed to repeat our mistakes.
5. Finding yourself is empowering. We as women are true forces to be reckoned with. There is something liberating and empowering about taking the wheel of your life, turning it around, and driving it in a completely different direction.
Once you see the strength, courage, and persistence that you develop when you have a goal of the kind of person that you want to be and you work hard to achieve your goal, you will be proud of yourself and empowered for life ahead.
The moral of the story? Finding yourself mean finding a better quality of life. Now who doesn’t want that?
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- A Better Life After Divorce Isn’t a Given But, It Can Be Earned
- When My Marriage Ended, My New Life Began