Whether you’re separated, currently going through a divorce or the ink on your divorce agreement has been dry for a while… the time between Christmas/Hanukkah and New Year’s Eve can be an extremely difficult time of the year!!
The holidays are physically and emotionally draining. We face so many stressful obligations…all masked by the magical sparkle of Joyful Celebration!
Celebrations where we most likely ate and drank too much and ended up getting very little rest!!
This all takes a tremendous toll on us.
Chances are we also got caught up in the whirlwind of shopping for special gifts, wrapping, cooking, baking, decorating, entertaining and even traveling… which inevitably resulted in our wallets being as depleted as our energy levels. And, the numbers on the bathroom scale rising right along with our stress levels.
Let’s face it, separation and divorce (all on their own) can have the very same unpleasant results like those mentioned above. Therefore, this time of the year can quickly become anything but Wonderful!!
So, unless you’re a fan of self-torture, now is the time to be extra kind to yourself. And turning to more alcohol or more food for comfort and joy will only make you feel worse in the long run.
Remember, it is most important to choose your methods of Post-Holiday-Self-Care WITH Care.
5 Tips To Get You Through New Year’s Eve
1. Take time for yourself.
After all the celebratory chaos, it’s time to slow everything down. Go for a walk in nature and turn your face up to the sun. Breathe deeply. Soak in a hot Epsom salt bath with some essential oils.
Sit quietly and just breathe.
TRY NOT TO “DO” – “WATCH” – “READ” or “LISTEN TO” – ANYTHING!
Create an environment free from noise or other distractions (even people). Just for a little while each day. Detox. This may sound silly, but if you can take some alone time to refresh and replenish for a short time each day, you will be amazed by the many benefits you’ll begin to notice.
It’s so important to regain our balance after being so depleted. When we’re fragile, negativity can take hold– But, once we strengthen our inner fortitude, we regain our resilience. Remember to continue taking some alone time each day in the new year!
2. If you’re sad cry if you’re angry punch a pillow.
Everybody seems to be a bit more emotional at this time of the year. And you have more than enough reasons to be feeling some pretty intense ups and downs. So, give yourself permission to feel your feelings. But also be smart!
Now that we realize we may be feeling extra sensitive during this time, try to do what makes you happy and avoid what makes you sad.
If watching those sappy Hallmark love stories makes you melancholy… don’t watch them.
If scrolling through Facebook and seeing everyone’s seemingly picture perfect life depresses you… take a break from FB. If it makes you happy to help others in need… take this time to volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter.
3. Have a plan.
New Year’s Eve is a difficult night for many people. Even people in happy marriages and good relationships. So, take the time to think about creative ways you can “celebrate” NYE in the most pleasant way possible. Whether you’ll be celebrating with your kids or they’ll be with their other parent, you have options.
Think outside the box!!
And remember there will always be another NYE next year. I’ve had my share of horrible NYEs and wonderful NYEs. So, if the best option you can come up with is going to bed early and sleeping through the ball drop… so be it. There’s always next year.
4. This too shall pass.
Even though separation and divorce suck, things will get better. I promise. February will follow January and winter will turn into spring. To everything, there is a season.
Life is full of challenges and victories. It is a circle of darkness into light. So, even though these may be particularly dark and difficult times, hang in there… because the sun will surely shine again, maybe more brightly than ever before.
5. You’re not alone.
Hopefully, it brings you a bit of comfort during these difficult times to know there are many of us who are here for you. Some of us are right alongside you in the deep, dark trenches of separation and divorce and some have finally crawled our way out. And we’ll reach out our hand to help pull you up and out as well.
Yes, the time between Christmas/Hanukkah and New Year’s Eve can be an extremely difficult time of the year… but it can also be a time for us to cultivate our inner strength, to grow and develop some positive coping skills. It also gives us the opportunity to focus on all the promising possibilities ahead in the new year.
Happy 2021!!
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